don’t know what it was but I just didn’t have it to give. Then I either left too soon or stayed too long.”
He propped himself up on one elbow and looked at her.
“Sometimes I think that I know strangers better than I know anybody else, even myself. I learn so much about people in my job. Sometimes I think I don’t even have a life. I only have their life…I don’t know what I’m talking about.”
“I think you do. I understand. Maybe everybody’s like this.”
“I don’t know. I don’t think so.”
They were quiet for a while after that. Bosch leaned down and kissed her breasts, holding a nipple between his lips for a long moment. She brought her hands up and held his head to her chest. He could smell the jasmine.
“Harry, have you ever had to use your gun?”
He pulled his head up. The question seemed out of place. But through the darkness he could see her eyes on him, watching and waiting for an answer.
“Yes.”
“You killed someone.”
It wasn’t a question.
“Yes.”
She said nothing else.
“What is it, Jazz?”
“Nothing. I was just wondering how that would be. How you would go on.”
“Well, all I can tell you is that it hurts. Even when there was no choice and they had to go down, it hurts. You just have to go on.”
She was silent. Whatever she had needed to hear from him he hoped she had gotten. Bosch was confused. He didn’t know why she had asked such questions and wondered if she was testing him in some way. He lay back on his pillow and waited for sleep but confusion kept it away from him. After a while she turned on the bed and put her arm over him.
“I think you are a good man,” she whispered close to his ear.
“Am I?” he whispered back.
“And you will come back, won’t you?”
“Yes. I’ll come back.”
Chapter Twenty-nine
BOSCH WENT TO every rental counter in McCarran International Airport in Las Vegas but none had a car left. He silently chastised himself for not making a reservation and walked outside the terminal into the dry crisp air to catch a cab. The driver was a woman and when Bosch gave the address, on Lone Mountain Drive, he could clearly see her disappointment in the rearview mirror. The destination wasn’t a hotel, so she wouldn’t be picking up a return fare.
“Don’t worry,” Bosch said, understanding her problem. “If you wait for me, you can take me back to the airport.”
“How long you gonna be? I mean, Lone Mountain, that’s way out there in the sand pits.”
“I might be five minutes, I might be less. Maybe a half hour. I’d say no longer than a half hour.”
“You waiting on the meter?”
“On the meter or you. Whatever you want to do.”
She thought about it a moment and put the car in drive.
“Where are all the rental cars, anyway?”
“Big convention in town. Electronics or something.”
It was a thirty-minute ride out into the desert northwest of the strip. The neon-and-glass buildings retreated and the cab passed through residential neighborhoods until these, too, became sparse. The land was a ragged brown out here and dotted unevenly with scrub brush. Bosch knew the roots of every bush spread wide and sucked up what little moisture was in the earth. It made for a terrain that seemed dying and desolate.
The houses, too, were few and far between, each one an outpost in a no-man’s-land. The streets had been gridded and paved long ago but the boomtown of Las Vegas hadn’t quite caught up yet. It was coming, though. The city was spreading like a patch of weeds.
The road began to rise toward a mountain the color of cocoa mix. The cab shook as a procession of eighteen-wheel dump trucks thundered by with loads of sand from the excavation pits the driver had mentioned. And soon the paved roadway gave way to gravel and the cab sent up a tail of dust in its wake. Bosch was beginning to think the address the smarmy supervising clerk at City Hall had given him was a phony. But then they were there.
The address to which Claude Eno’s pension checks were mailed each month was a sprawling ranch-style house of pink stucco and dusty white tile roof. Looking past it, Bosch could see where even the gravel road ended just past it. It was the end of the line. Nobody had lived farther away than Claude Eno.
“I don’t know about this,” the driver said. “You want me to