wasn’t going to be anyone’s pity lay, ever. That guy, at least, had been something of a difference in contrast with a couple of the other men she had tried to date who had treated her like she was made of glass. They had treated her like an invalid, like there was something wrong with her. And that really wasn’t any more appealing to her than being treated like a sexual charity case.
Plus, whenever she went on a date with a guy, he was always asking questions about her. And she didn’t like that either. Basically, she hated dating. But, dammit all, she liked men. Their bodies, anyway. At least, she was pretty sure she did. Would like a chance to explore that a little more.
She growled, reaching down and taking hold of the remote, turning the TV off. She didn’t need to watch other people make out when all she could think of was making out with the last man on earth she should ever want to touch.
This just made her hate him even more. The fact that this man who had already had such a profound, indelible effect on her body was reaching inside of her and changing her yet again.
She grabbed her pie, holding it close to her chest and marching back into the kitchen. She stood at the counter and finished it, not taking any more chances with the TV.
When she finished, she walked into the bathroom, stripping her clothes off as she went. She started to run water in the tub, turning and looking at herself in the mirror as she waited for it to fill. She pinned her hair up slowly, examining the woman looking back at her. She was... Well, she was used to her reflection. To the patches of skin that were puckered on her face, that tugged at the corner of her mouth and made her smile asymmetrical. To the little crease by her left eye that pulled it tight and made it slightly more catlike than the right.
To the large depression of skin by her rib cage, and the patch that had been surgically removed from her stomach to be placed on her leg, where it had been most badly damaged.
It was her body. She didn’t know it any other way. She had been young enough when it had happened—barely pubescent—that her body hadn’t really begun to change into a woman’s shape yet. So, along with her curves, these scars were a signal of growth and change.
It was just her.
It wasn’t beautiful, but it was all she knew.
She sighed heavily, turning in the small space and walking across the stone floor to the claw-foot tub in the corner. She stepped inside, her muscles relaxing as she sank into the warm water. Finally she felt some of the day’s tension begin to fade.
She closed her eyes, letting her head fall back, and something about resting her head against the hard surface brought her thoughts back to that moment in her shop earlier today. When she had been braced against the hard wall with Gage in front of her, so unyielding, uncompromising.
So hot. And so very masculine.
Her breath hitched, her breasts rising up out of the water, the cold air making contact with her wet skin, causing her nipples to tighten. At least, that’s why she told herself her nipples tightened. It couldn’t have anything to do with him. Certainly not.
Except, the memory of what she had just seen on TV superimposed itself over the memory of what had actually happened today, and she was powerless to stop herself from imagining what his face would feel like beneath her fingertips. Rough, from the dark stubble, hot like the rest of him.
Her heart was thundering in her chest, so hard and so loud she was almost sure she could hear it echoing in the small space. For just a moment, she forgot that it was a bad idea to let herself think of him like that. For just a moment, she forgot everything except for how wonderfully compelling his face was.
He wasn’t beautiful. He was too hard for that. Too uncompromising. But that was what made him so fascinating, at least for her. He was so raw, so undeniably male, and that was outside of her sphere of experience.
What would have happened if she had leaned in? If she had touched the tip of her tongue to his bottom lip. What would he taste like? What would he sound like?