that cause you pain every day,” he said, his voice rough.
“I believe that you feel guilty about that, Gage. And I’m sure that there isn’t much I can do to change that. So, I’m going to need you not to pity me if we’re going to spend more time together. Because I can be a person you care about. I can be a woman that you want. I’d really like to be the woman that you love. But I can’t be a woman that you pity. Whether you mean it to be or not, you living like this holds both of us back. You’re forcing me to continue to dwell in it, and I don’t want that. So if you care about me at all, if your guilt is really about me and not about you, then you need to change the way that you deal with things.”
“Of course it’s about you,” he said, his voice like gravel.
“No,” she said, new certainty infusing her tone. “It isn’t. It never was.”
“You don’t think I feel bad about this? You think I’m some kind of monster? I thought we were past that.”
“Don’t you dare turn this on me, Gage West. I do think you feel bad. I said as much. But I don’t think it’s the thing that kept you running for seventeen years. If this is really all about becoming your father, if this was really all about you being angry because he didn’t face up to his own mistakes, then you would have done something differently.”
“You don’t understand,” he said, raging suddenly. He took a step toward her, then another. She took a step back, until her shoulder blades butted up against the wall. He pressed his hands to the smooth surface, on either side of her face. “It was so easy to let him fix it. So easy to take that out. And I could see myself sliding down the slippery slope. Being the kind of man who would end up just like that.”
She looked up at him, at those dark eyes that were so close to hers, and yet, not looking at her. “I don’t believe you,” she said softly.
He pushed away from her, forking his fingers through his dark hair. “You’re going to tell me what I feel now?”
“Why not? It’s what you’ve been trying to do to me since you came back. Telling me what I should accept, telling me how I should think of you. Well, let me tell you something. I’ve decided how I feel about you. I’ve decided who you are based on what I’ve seen, not what you’ve told me. You’re the man who took so much care with my body when you took my virginity. The man who went to see his sister after she gave birth, even though it wasn’t easy. The man who came back to deal with his family’s issues after so many years detached from it, because when push comes to shove, you’re the kind of man who will be there. You don’t let people go, Gage. You’re not sliding down any slippery slope, and you never have been.” She swallowed hard, conviction burning in her chest. “You care too much. Too much for other people who aren’t you. Nothing about being back here benefits you, not really. This isn’t for you.”
“Oh, you have no idea how much this was for me,” he said. “How much all of this was for me. From coming back here in the first place to the first moment I put my hands on you. That’s the only thing I know how to do, Rebecca. And no matter how far I run, it stays the same. I know how to please me. I know how to serve me. That’s it. Doesn’t matter what I say I want to do, doesn’t matter what I try to do, the end result is always the same.” He shook his head, pacing the length of the room. “You know why?”
“I’m sure you think you do,” she said, crossing her arms, trying to brace herself for what he might say next. He was on a warpath, and she knew it had nothing to do with her, but with him. He was bound and determined to blow this up. She could sense it. Could sense that the blow was coming, but it didn’t mean that it would make it easy to take.
“Because I am a selfish bastard. You might not believe it because you had a short amount