life without forging any deep connections. Staying one step ahead of the howling demon inside of him that was so desperate, so lonely, if he ever let it catch up to him it would consume him completely.
It had caught up to him now in a raging torrent of need, a dark beast that had sunk its teeth deep into his throat, shaking hard.
He reached out, wrapping her long hair around his fist, drawing her face back forward toward him.
She pressed her hands against his thighs, parting her lips and taking him in, a sweet, shallow tasting that was reflective of her inexperience.
The best part about a blow job in Gage’s estimation was the anonymity. It was easy to close his eyes and feel. It allowed him to detach completely from what was happening. At least, that was how it had been in every other situation.
It was impossible to pretend that this was anyone other than Rebecca. And he didn’t even want to. He wanted it to be her, down on her knees in front of him, making him feel like this. Need burned inside of him, hot and reckless. And he couldn’t see an end to it. He wanted more. More and more, and he didn’t think it could ever be satisfied. The deeper she took him, the slicker the slide of her hot, unpracticed tongue, the more that he wanted.
He laced his fingers through her hair, holding her tightly as she continued to torture him. He could stay like this forever. It still wouldn’t be enough.
Need consumed him, suffused him. He couldn’t remember the last time he had been desperate for another person. Not just for their touch, not just for sexual completion, but for them. Never. It had never happened.
But he was desperate for her, needed her, the wall of stone he had placed in front of his soul cracking open, dark, messy need pouring out all around them.
She wrapped her hand around the base of him, sliding her tongue up his length, her eyes meeting his, a shot of heat and pleasure shooting down his spine, gathering at the base, tension gathering low and hard inside of him.
“No,” he said, his voice rough. “Rebecca, not like that.”
“Why?” she asked, her face flushed, her eyes glittering with pleasure. “Because then you’ll have to admit that I get pleasure just from being with you. Not your hands, not your... Not your cock, not your mouth. Just you? That you’re the one that turns me on? That you’re the one I want?”
Her words washed over him like a wave, leaving devastation in their wake. Every soft, delicate truth that spilled from her tongue moving mountains inside of him.
Right now, she was more than a woman. She contained a tsunami, and she possessed the ability to destroy everything that he was.
Still, he didn’t pull away.
“No,” he said, his voice rough, hauling her up to her feet. “Because then I wouldn’t be inside you when I came.”
Her mouth dropped open, the color in her cheeks higher, shock, desire darkening her eyes. “Did I shock you?” he asked. “Does it surprise you to know how much I want to be buried in you? To feel you all around me?” He turned his head, pressing his face to the curve of her neck, inhaling deeply, the soft scent of hay, soap and Rebecca. “Do you want me? Do you really?”
It had started out as a game. A game to see if he could make her cheeks turn a brighter color, to see if he could shock her. But now, now he just needed her to say it. He needed it more than he needed his next breath.
The challenge of her last words echoed through him. She was right. He was afraid to admit it. But he needed to hear it. That she wanted him. That she wanted this.
More than that, that she needed this.
That he was more than an antivenin. More than just an antibody of the same poison that had brought about her wounds in the first place.
That this woman, this strong, beautiful woman wanted him. That when he left here, she would still think of him. That she would burn for him. That part of her would always wait for him to come back.
You bastard, that’s the last thing you should want. You should want her to forget you.
Why?
It was the first time he had ever questioned why. Why he felt like he had to leave. Why he was so comfortable being