Lady of the English - By Elizabeth Chadwick Page 0,49

but no one did.”

“You sound as if you expect some men to renege if the chance arises.”

Brian grimaced. “There are many opportunists amongst us—

and we both know who they are without speaking names.”

“Yes.” She narrowed her eyes in thought. “One day I will have to choose the men who serve me from among those gathered here. But their strengths and weaknesses will be difficult to judge when I am so far away in Anjou.”

“Surely your husband will not object to correspondence that keeps you aware, because it will be in his interests too. Your father and the queen will write to you often, and the Earl of Gloucester. So shall I.”

She said impatiently, “Reading the written word of another is not the same as judging for oneself. My stepmother acts her part so well that it has become the truth for her. She moves among people with a smile and a kind word. She is solicitous of my father and sweet to everyone, but how much of that is a façade she has been forced to adopt? How much will my father conceal or change to suit his own interests? I want my truth as it is, all unvarnished.”

“You don’t have to approach every difficulty as if it has to be bludgeoned into submission. Ice melts in sunlight when it does not do so in the frozen dark. Your stepmother knows this and it is what makes her so fine a peacemaker.” Matilda drew a steadying breath. “If men serve me as they should, then I will deal honestly with them, but I would have 122

LadyofEnglish.indd 122

6/9/11 5:35 PM

Lady of the English

everyone tell the truth and not creep around it as if it is something we fear to awaken.”

Brian gave her a long look, and the expression in his eyes sent a shiver down her spine. Just one move from either of them, and their hands would touch and their fingers mesh.

She made a tight fist, resisting the urge to reach out. “Would you follow me if I were queen?” she asked. “Would you think England a laughing stock if a woman sat on the throne? Would you consider it an affront to the natural order?” He shook his head. “I would rejoice.”

“Then you are either the bravest man I have ever encountered, or you are lying to me.”

“I am neither brave, nor a liar,” he replied, the yearning look still in his eyes. “I am merely your servant and your father’s servant.”

“My father’s first though.”

“Because he is the king and he has raised me, but if you were queen, it would mean he was no longer here.” Matilda walked several paces along the battlements, putting distance between them. The sun was a splash of gold melting into the horizon. “Indeed, my father did raise you on high—by marrying you to Maude of Wallingford.” Brian nodded, wary now.

“How old were you?”

He looked down. “I do not remember; it was long ago.

Perhaps sixteen.”

“And how old was your wife?”

His voice roughened. “Twice my age, as you know, and a widow.”

A colder evening wind blew across the battlements, making Matilda shiver. “And what did you think when you married her?”

“As I said, it was a long time ago.”

“But not something you would forget, and I know your memory is keen.”

123

LadyofEnglish.indd 123

6/9/11 5:35 PM

Elizabeth Chadwick

He made a face, plainly uncomfortable. “I was grateful to your father. I was born without a patrimony and he raised me at court and gave me one. I have always tried to do right by Maude, but it was a match made for convenience—as most are.”

“And what did your wife think of being married to such a youth?”

Brian flushed. “I never asked her. What would be the point?

We are yoked to each other for better or worse and it is our duty to pull the plough in the same direction. We do as we are bidden.”

“‘As we are bidden,’” Matilda repeated and shivered.

Tomorrow it was her duty to return to her plough and her mismatched companion.

“You will be a queen,” he said softly. “A great one.” She read the longing in his eyes and was glad she had put distance between them. “But once I was an empress. My father does not want me to be queen. He wants my sons to be kings.

So does Geoffrey, and that is one of the reasons he has asked for my return. It is always about the power of men.” His voice dropped lower still. “You do not know what power you