After receiving nods of agreement, Marlene waved her hand out toward the exhibit. "Plenty of good people laid down their lives so we could even be here. We stand on their shoulders. Most who made the ultimate sacrifice knew they wouldn't make it to see the change they'd died for-but that didn't matter, the change was worth it to them anyway. It was a matter of principle. We've been blessed, but we've also gotten comfortable . . . and frightened that our comforts will be taken away, which destroys our fearlessness . . . which makes us conservative and wanting to play it safe. I stand here guilty as charged. Once I got my Shabazz back, I've practically been scared to leave the house."
Carlos looked at Marlene squarely."Me, too. Guilty as charged, Mar. Now more than ever before, the thought of losing my wife, our home, or a single member of this team has jacked my head up-I ain't gonna lie." He glanced at Rider. "Yeah, I was off today . . . slow on the decision making, ain't gonna front. You said you wanted to talk to me about it, let's go right now." Carlos opened his arms wide and cocked his head to the side. "I ain't ashamed to admit it. I feel like I've got more to lose now than ever before and that makes it hard to just bust a crazy move that could get any of us smoked . . . when it was just me, hey"-he pointed at Rider with a hard snap-"but it ain't just me. It's a whole lot more than that-so, yeah, I'm struggling with my new reality, brother.My bad."
Rider nodded. "I'm sorry, man . . . you're right. Guess whatever peppered this team got me, too, and as usual my mouth was the first portal." He turned to Marlene after Carlos relaxed and let out a weary breath."Guilty as sin, Mar." Rider dragged his fingers through his hair. "Shamed to say it, but . . . as a Guardian, once I got Tara back, I didn't give a rat's ass what was happening out there if I could keep it away from our doorstep." He glanced back at Carlos. "Might not be politically correct, but it's honest."
Jose pounded Rider's fist. "Weain't hating , man . . . we all right with what you talkin' about."
Dan rubbed a hand across his forehead. "I think I'm first in line in that politically incorrect category-and that would have shamed my parents if they knew. They were big into remembering the sacrifices people made so that we could be where we are today." He waved his arm toward the exhibit. "I've shamed those who made the ultimate sacrifice here, or in Nazi Germany, because deep in my heart I don't want anything to happen to my family while the world's going to hell in a handbasket. I don't even want us to do that concert in a couple of months . . . and only half-ass booked it because I just wanted us to not be on the road in the line of fire."
"It's cool, man . . . we all understand where you at," Mike said. "Ain'tnobody mad at nobody up in here. I ain't trying to be on the road, either, if we don't have to-problem is, we have to. But, still in all, who don't wanna look after their own peeps? I got my wife, a baby daughter, and a mother-in-law, who's like my momma, to worry about, and it's eating a hole in my stomach, too, young bro. You ain't shamednobody with the truth-it's the Devil who's a liar."
Damali's and Marlene's gazes met as they caught Yonnie hanging back behind the group. He'd been unusually quiet throughout the tour, almost detached, and his body language rigid.
"Hey, man," Yonnie said to Dan after a moment, glancing around the exhibits. "Don't be so hard on yourself. You here, ain't you? In fact, we all here, ain't we? Nobody wants to be the ones to have to do what has to be done. I bet if you go back in history, plenty of people that stepped up didn't want to . . . when you get into the quiet corner of their souls. Yeah, I can promise you they didn't wanna step up, but had to and did . . . like you have to and are right now." He looked at Owa and then glanced at Marlene. "Is this sister cool enough for the real truth? Or should I stay in my civilian game face?"
"Owa," Marlene said calmly. "Sister . . .like most Guardian teams, we have members on our squad that have . . . unique gifts-but our folks' skills are a little more exotic than the run-of-the-mill sixth sense capabilities. What you are probably about to hear may blow your mind, but just know you ain't crazy."
Owa nodded and looked at Yonnie. "Speak, brother. Tell us the story."
"Ain't no story-it's plain fact," Yonnie said, breaking away from Val's attempt to soothe him with a touch at his back. "All this in here," he said waving his arms about. "Sheeit-this is the Disney, sanitized version . . . I wasthere .All right.Seen it."
"He's a past life seer?" Owa murmured, her confused gaze seeking Marlene's.
"No! I wasthere ! In the flesh," Yonnie suddenly yelled, "and I need to get out of here, okay.Now.Pronto.Imm�diatement!" He walked in a circle for a moment and then wiped his brow. "This is all good, learning about the past-but it's still textbook until you been through it. Don't eventry to comprehend what they did to the children-I refuse to discuss it. And what they did to men and women is not for polite convo." He pointed at a noose and then a whipping post, his arm shaking as he spoke. "That will take your soul. That right there will turn you into an animal, a beast, will steal your humanity." He pulled his arm back in a hard snap. "But the funny thing is," he said, growing eerily quiet and then staring at Carlos. "That was the best that humans possessed by demons could come up with-let's call thatHell-light . You ain't seen nuthin' till real Hell bubbles up this time."
He walked away and back out of the exhibit into the bookstore area. Carlos held up both hands, motioning to the group not to follow.
"Give me a minute alone with my brother," Carlos said, leaving the exhibit to find Yonnie.
When Carlos approached, Yonnie was doubled over in the bookshelves, breathing in hard inhalations through his mouth, dry-heaving.
"You all right, man?"
Yonnie glanced up, eyes blazing red with battle-length fangs presented.
Carlos held up both hands in front of his chest. "Easy, man . . . it's gonna be all right. Breathe."
"I can't read about that shit, can't think about that shit, can't walk through that shit and not remember, man . . . and you chained my ass to a tree and bullwhipped-"
"No!" Carlos shouted. "You know what that was, and it wasn't me! That was some shit that came off that throne, man!"
Tears of rage shimmered in Yonnie's eyes as his voice fractured to a pained murmur. "You weremy boy . . ."
"I'm still your boy. Let the flashback work its way out on the next swing," Carlos said, stepping forward," 'Cause it wasn't me."
Yonnie swung so hard that when the feral punch connected with Carlos's jaw it made both men lose their balance. Shelves fell with a hard crash and books scattered everywhere. Carlos and Yonnie hit the floor at the same time. Up on his feet in seconds, Carlos grabbed Yonnie around his upper arms the moment he lunged at him again, and he hugged Yonnie hard.
"Get it out, man. I didn't do that to you. That's the poison talking. Get it out."
"Why!" Yonniehollered, his voice fracturing as he struggled to break free from Carlos's hold. "Get the f**k off me! Why you do that to me, man?"
"Theydid it to you-Hell's best.I got your back,always got your back . . . ain't let even my wife take your head when you was a daywalker, 'cause you my brother, man-we gonna get through this. It was f**ked-up what they did to you in life and death-but I got you . . . just let it out-just me and you, here, aw'ight?"
Yonnie's struggles slowly gave way to a returned embrace. Mournful sobs tore through the store and Carlos quietly black-boxed the area to preserve his Guardian brother's privacy. There was so much pain riddling Yonnie's body that he could barely hold them both up. Man pain stabbed into his chest.Broken pride.Decimated dreams. Indignity upon indignity for two hundred years poured out of Yonnie's battered soul until the weight of it nearly buckled Carlos's knees. Then slowly, without warning, the storm passed, leaving both Guardian brothers in a warrior's embrace drawing short breaths, not sure what had transpired.
"You been holding that for two centuries," Carlos said in a thick rumble, finally letting Yonnie go.
Both men stared at each other. Yonnie turned away, ashamed, but Carlos landed a supportive hand on his shoulder.