"Well, if it'll make you feel better," Carlos said, almost speaking to himself, "he got all up in my woman's head, too. So, where I come from, fair exchange is no robbery."
"He did what. . ."
The low, threatening timbre of the she-dragon's voice held such quiet, unmasked pain and disbelief that Carlos looked at her but backed away. It had not been his intent to start any additional drama, and the comment was only borne from his own heightening insecurity of what a mind lock with Cain might have done to Damali. He was not playing games when he'd said it.
"Yeah," Carlos admitted, too weary to cover up the truth with a he.
"Had been coming to her for years, I understand, bringing her music, coaxing her gift... then finally found the rip, I suppose, and had her in his arms--in our f**king house... the only thing that I'm pretty sure didn't go down all the way was the flesh violation. But what do I know?"
Carlos's voice trailed off as he thought about it and remembered the erotic charge in the room. He balled up his fists at his sides as angry at himself as he was at Cain. He'd been the one to violate Damali's trust, not Cain, and her trusting, innocent heart was the most special thing about her. How many lies had he told that woman time and time again... ? She was right. From the drugs, to the vamp turn, to the throne elevations, to making Yonnie a lieutenant, to getting Damali pregnant at the vanishing point, to taking another tumble on Level Six, and doing Juanita on her back deck. If this older woman standing near him was right, and a soul and mind violation weighed as heavily in the higher realms as they obviously did, then he understood a little bit more now why Damali wasn't hearing shit from him.
"He gave her his music?" the she-dragon asked in a faraway voice.
Carlos closed his eyes. Mutual pain was a very deep thing. "I'll bring you over the barrier, so you can get with somebody else."
"Thank you," she whispered in a shaky voice. "But there is no one else for me but him."
Carlos looked at her, wishing he'd never disclosed Cain's mental encroachment. "I'm so sorry. You deserve better."
"As do you," she said in a quiet tone.
"I'll live. On my plane, a little fantasy never hurt anybody."
She came to him and touched his cheek, pity in her eyes. "It is better that you do not understand."
Carlos grabbed her wrist as she attempted to draw her hand away, but he didn't hold it in anger, just firm enough to make her know he needed more answers.
She looked down and hugged him, as though someone had died, and pressed two fingers to his lips. "Go home, kind lover." She nodded toward the cliff. "Your mind is too young to sort through that level of hurt. Let me show you the thinning area--"
"You know how the mind works, what is imagined is always worse than what is."
She stared at him, as though deciding. "No. It is not. Not always."
She pulled him into a gentle embrace and petted his back. "The mind has a way of creating selective, sentimental memories. It closes a wound after time, as long as that wound is not deep enough."
"She slept with him, didn't she?" Carlos found himself holding onto the beautiful creature as his breathing went shallow.
"No," she said, rubbing the pain away from his back.
Carlos let his breath out hard. "All right," he said, slowly recovering. "You were scaring me."
"I am going to go home, will address my issues with Cain, he and I will talk, and come to an understanding. If he continues to visit the young female from your world, and give her his music, then I will make decisions that must be made."
"Sho' you right, sis," Carlos said, feeling much improved. "Tell him to keep his ass home, I'll do the same. He don't mess with my woman, I won't mess with his. Everybody can be at peace. Things can go back to normal. Damali won't call him no more, I . . ." He stopped his diatribe for a moment. "I will call you, though, because you are my friend, and I promised I would. But not for spite, just to give you options you deserve to have. Even if I can't be the one to ever do you, is that fair?"
"That is more than fair," she whispered, her large jewel eyes still glittering with tears. "You are a gentle lover," she whispered. "Selfless."
"Are we friends?" he asked, pushing her mussed hair over her shoulder.
"Forever friends," she said quietly. "Tumble over the edge, and when you feel like you are moving too quickly, grab onto the bands of light before you hit the bottom of the ravine... they will give, a rip will open, and you will be back where you entered."
Carlos nodded. "Thanks, friend," he said quietly. "I just wish you would tell me what I'm up against in her head, so I have a fighting chance."
Maybe it was the way she covered her mouth and closed her eyes, her fingers trembling over her lush lips that made him have to know.
"You don't," she said gently. "And, because you are my friend, I am asking you not to do this to yourself, young, gentle, sweet, sweet lover, do not. Sometimes knowledge is a damaging thing, not powerful at all." She stared at him. "On this, ignorance is bliss."
Carlos swallowed hard, unshed tears suddenly in his throat for unknown reasons. "Tell me. What did he do to her? You know, now, don't you? I can see it in your eyes. You've been picking up his vibe since I slipped and told you by accident." Carlos could feel his voice about to break. "That's why he isn't coming, he knows I'm here about to roll, but also knows that he can't face you, can't stand here and accuse you without having to answer some hard questions himself. Right?"