Silver streamed down his face as his grip loosened around her wrists. "D, I'll be all right," he said in a thick whisper. "Baby, I swear you don't wanna see what's been on my head about this subject for all these years. I'm begging you."
She inhaled a deep, steadying breath, braced herself, and ignored his words. Flashes of blinding light like hundreds of camera bulbs went off in her head as each gruesome image opened. The light burned the center of the image out, scorched it to the edges as though a match had been set to a Polaroid. But then she saw the dark tendril that connected each image. She let go of his head with one hand and called theIsis into her right grip. Carlos squeezed his eyes shut as she rested the sharp metal gently against his temple.
A thick, coiling, dark mental rope unfurled in his mind like a serpent. Suddenly she was running alongside it, following it, trying to find the base. To her horror the base was as wide as a mature oak tree, with hundreds of twisted black roots partially exposed in his gray matter. She sheathed the Isis long blade and called theIsis dagger into her palm, then reached back, hauled off, and stabbed the largest root she could find.
Carlos's yell coincided with the black geyser as the root let go of his cerebral cortex and flailed wildly. But she got a glimpse of what it had been connected to.A horribly deformed, half-demon changeling. The gargoyle-like fetus stared up at her with slit-shaped green eyes and snarled. She was on it before it could uncurl, driving the dagger into its unbeating black heart.
From a remote part of her mind she could hear Carlos's sobs. But her focus was laser as she watched thick black root branches disconnect from the burning ball of putrid flesh. Both hands on her dagger, she pumped white-light blasts through it, cleansing the area like a hazmat team. She burned everything in her wake, and then set her own mind to remembering their hopes.
Flash-his laughing and picking her up, swinging her around. Official news called for celebration.Flash.Him laughing at her and complaining about being sent on yet another craving run.Flash.The brothers in the compound teasing him about being henpecked.Flash. Him sitting beside her watching TV, just rubbing her belly as it moved.Flash. The look on his face when she came out of the shower, heavy laden with life he'd planted.Flash. Kissing her belly and talking to the baby.Flash.The look on his face when she put the wet, wriggling child in his arms for the first time.
She came out of his mind breathless. He sat calmly, looking off in the distance, and then wiped his face. She lowered herself to sit beside him and then took up his hand.
"All those years, you carried that all by yourself. . . . Baby, you don't ever have to do that again."
"It was so ugly, D," he admitted quietly. "I never wanted you to know."
"It's gone."
He nodded. "You always amaze me . . . I never know all that you can do." He turned and looked at her. "Thank you."
She smiled. "You're welcome."
His expression remained serious. "No. Thank you, for real . . . for loving me like youdo , and for remembering those very old dreams I had of us. You took those flash shots from when we were just kids-from when we first met . . . before I even died or came back."
"How could I forget those?" She kissed him slowly. "Those were coming from the pure essence of your heart, Carlos."
"It's been so long since I had pure essence in my heart that . . . I wouldn't have known where to begin."
"Not true," she said, taking up his hand and laying it against her belly. "Last night you found it."
She'd meant to make him smile, but his gaze remained serious as it searched her face.
"Last night, I gave you everything I could. And, now, because of what you just gave me . . . a clear mind and a clear conscience, which washes my soul . . . even if you aren't pregnant, I don't have to worry about what used to keep me up at night." He shook his head as he touched her face. "If you are, I won't worry like I did . . .Damali, do you understand the depth of that gift?"
She couldn't frame an answer using words; the only thing she knew to do was seal what had just happened with a kiss. The worry was also gone for her, despite the realities they faced. There was never a good time to conceive, per se . . . what about living human life was convenient? People had walked by faith and taken families through slavery, holocausts, wars, and famines, and yet the indomitable human spirit endured. They would endure, whatever, come what may. They had to. The options were limited, and to do otherwise was unacceptable.
They sat together quietly for a long time, holding hands, her head leaning against his shoulder, both of them staring down at the clean, clear pool water that had replenished itself.
"I guess we should get dressed soon," she finally said, hating to break the stillness of their rare peace.
"A part of me wishes we didn't have to go back, but then the other part of me knows that-if we didn't, it would be because we were dead." Carlos let his breath out hard. "That said, I guess we oughta get washed up and put on some clothes."
"All right," she said in a dejected tone, and slowly pushed herself to the edge of the bed to stand.
"I'm sure they left our stuff for us by now," he said, not taking his eyes off her as she walked down the steps.
When he almost bumped into a love seat, she had to laugh. But she stopped walking down into the water long enough for him to open the door, grab the neatly pressed bundle of clothing that had been stacked on a silver tray outside their chamber, and come back in the room.
"You'll let me wash your back?"
She laughed quietly and shook her head. "Yeah . . . but isn't that how all this got started?"
He wiggled his eyebrows and offered her a dashing smile. "True, but I'm going to chill, I promise. We've been gone a long time, ya know."
She did know. As nice as the break had been, there was a crest point, a horizon where the joy of being away from the team pressures began to slide over into the mental realm of guilt, worry, responsibility, et al. She knew he'd simply gotten there first, and would probably be there from now on, given the new potential responsibilities he felt coming down on him.
"Turn around and let me wash your back," she said, knowing that if she kept her touch therapeutic and set the conversation to the right dial, they could get out of the water without further incident.