"We've always been able to trust each other," she finally whispered, "even when we weren't sure of anything else."
He nodded and laid his cheek on her shoulder to replace his chin, and wrapped his arms around her to gather her hands where she clutched the blanket. His fingers twined with hers and he let his breath out hard again. "I love you, D..."
Her response was a thick swallow. Oh, shit ...
"Like in a way I can't explain... it's that trust thing you said. I want us to stay friends, like the way we were just laughing outside. Do you know what I mean?"
She opened her eyes wide, glad he couldn't see the shocked expression on her face. Friends. Friends? Yeah, cool, right, exactly. Friends were a good thing, this was a friend-loving-closeness-hug, not a man-soon-to-be-a-lover-in-about-two-seconds-hug... Oh, my God, she would have been too embarrassed. The portals needed to be vacuum sealed, not just closed, if the mess had her acting like this!
"See, I know, from time to time, things between us would kinda get thick, and that was my fault," he said quietly on a soft expulsion of air. "D, I'm sorry I took you there and made you uncomfortable in the house, ya know?"
She nodded quickly. "No, it's cool, Jose, we - "
"No, girl," he said gently. "Let me finish and get this out, once and for all."
Damali pressed her lips closed and stared wide-eyed at the cabinets.
"I just have so much fun with you, we click so good together, when we make music, compose, do the stage it's like... like I can't even talk about it. And we know each other so well... like we can finish each other's sentences, and, God knows, you're beautiful... But I had to get over it. You didn't feel that way toward me. Carlos was the only brother that made you feel that, and I had to respect that. Had to suck it up. That was my own head-trip, and I was about to lose somebody real important in my life because I couldn't accept the way things were. In fact, he's cool people, too. I was about to create some drama in the house, and half of me was wondering if I was what made you move so you didn't have to deal with that. I'm sorry, if I put you in a position. That's what I truthfully came by to tell you, since you were all alone in here and we could really be real."
He lifted his head and turned her around slowly to face him. Her eyes sought the floor, but he put a finger under her chin to lift her head.
"D, if I was the reason you moved out, come home once the compound is built and there's real living space. If not, cool. But if I had anything to do with it, I'm sorry."
She shook her head no, too rattled to immediately say a word. "No, Jose, it wasn't your fault, and there's never been a reason for you to apologize to me about anything. I moved out because it was just time, ya know? I've never been on my own and wanted to see what that felt like."
He smiled and kissed her forehead. "Sometimes it's good, sometimes it's bad. Sometimes it's fun, and sometimes it's lonely as shit. Like everything else, it ain't perfect."
She gave him a platonic hug and shooed away the heat that he still produced in her body. The daggone blanket was cursed. She smiled inwardly. Nah, it was blessed. It was her crazy brain that was twisted.
Jose awkwardly pulled away and turned off the burner on the stove. "Kettle's been singing now for about five minutes."
Damali glanced at it, feeling warmth creep to her cheeks. "My bad?"
"I know," he said with a wry smile. "I didn't hear it, either."
They looked at each other, a silent understanding passing between them.
"It's time to turn the flame down before the kettle burns."
She nodded and slipped around him to find two clean mugs. Oh, shit. She nodded as she walked. "Good idea. Oh, yeah, you wanted coffee. Ummm... where did Marj put - "
"You got a pop or some iced tea?"
She stopped, looked at him, and went to the fridge. "I drank out of this," she said quickly and shoved the iced tea back onto the shelf. "But - "
"That's fine," Jose said, leaning against the sink. "I'll share your spit while you share my blanket."
She held the iced tea midair. "You want a glass?"
"Do I need one?"
"No."
He stopped smiling for a second, took the pitcher from her, and turned it up to his mouth. After a long swig, he shoved it back into the refrigerator and wiped his mouth on the back of his shirtsleeve. "We do it like this in the house behind Marlene's back any ole way." Then he burst out laughing.
She was so shocked that it took her a second to laugh with him. It wasn't the tea confession that had paralyzed her; it was all the double meanings and the sheer sensuality of the way he'd done it, like a quiet striptease. His vamp roots were showing; all that was missing was a little hint of fang. She couldn't tell if he was just messing with her or serious, but the whole thing jacked with her mind. Laughter was a good cover and a good release, just as it had always been between them. She made herself laugh very, very hard.
"I'd better go," Jose said, still chuckling. He kissed her cheek and began walking through the house.