"Aw'ight," Shabazz said, accepting the new shot. "Seal the area, brother... 'cause I've got some deep questions to ask you."
For a moment, Carlos didn't move. If the team's philosopher had some deep questions to ask him... then shit...
Accepting his new drink, Carlos silently complied and then leaned in to Shabazz. 'Talk to me."
Shabazz let out a hard breath and set his drink down carefully as though studying the dark amber liquid in the shot glass. "When you cross over into the Light, man, you come to understand a lot of things. You make your peace with things you never thought you could deal with, feel me?"
Carlos nodded, understanding the reference to Kamal without either man needing to speak on it. From the way Shabazz had taken a shell at point-blank range that had blown his back out, no doubt he'd been to realms within the Light he'd yet to fathom. 'Bazz had his full attention.
"Yeah, well, that past experience that I don't wanna go into was a part of her, and his protective energy transferred from there to become a part of me." Shabazz took a very careful sip of his drink. "It's hard to think about it, much less discuss, especially understanding how much he loved her... and feeling it, as a tactical... the passion that went both ways. But like I said, you get real cool in your head about what was and what is,
after you see the other side."
"Okay," Carlos said after a pause to collect his thoughts. "Then... if you're cool with it, and the shape-shifts help you out hi a firefight, and the team is cool with it, ya mean... then..."
"Then why am I here?" Shabazz rubbed his palms down his face and looked at the shelved bottles behind the bar. "Lemme ask you somethin', man. And don't laugh." Pure curiosity made Carlos lean in closer. Laughing was the last thing on his mind. He'd only seen Shabazz this shook when Marlene was recovering from near-death experiences. What the hell could be funny about that? This older Guardian brother was normally the definition of chill. This wasn't normal.
"Yo, man, you oughta know me better than that," Carlos finally said.
Shabazz nodded, but never looked at Carlos. "Upper and lower canines, man. Lost it right at the moment of truth. Swore no matter what, that bullshit wasn't coming into the bedroom with me - only on the battlefield, aw'ight. So ... how you ..." He tossed down his shot of Jack Daniel's hard and slung the glass toward the bartender. Carlos took in a deep breath through his nose to keep from smiling. "How you hold 'em back?"
Shabazz didn't even answer, just nodded once and accepted his drink.
"The truth?"
Shabazz stared at Carlos.
"I never could, man. D turns me out. Plain and simple." Shabazz closed his eyes and rolled the shot glass between his palms. "Yeah."
"It didn't freak her out, did it?" Carlos took a calm sip of Remy, glimpsing Shabazz from the corner of his eye.
"No. That's the problem." Shabazz took a fast gulp of Jack Daniel's.
"Suggestion," Carlos said, catching the shot glass as Shabazz slung it. "Slow down, deep breaths, brother." He waited until Shabazz nodded and he held up his hand to forestall the bartender. "If you don't fight it, you own it, and if you own it, you benefit from it."
"That sounds like some Zen rhetoric I woulda told you," Shabazz said, staring off into the distance.
"You know she had a past." Carlos looked at Shabazz from a sidelong glance.
"Yeah."
" Aw'ight... and she loved you hard without the canines, waaay before they presented, right?"
"Yeah."
"And, she's dealing with this new ... uh ... aspect of you real cool, actually. I mean, c'mon, man, she's a seer." Carlos looked at his older Guardian brother straight on. "She didn't wig because she could probably sense what was about to happen before it did." Carlos watched Shabazz's body begin to relax, and he sent the shot glass down the bar in a hard slide with a nod to okay the refill. "If it turned her out to see the canines, it was probably only because she realized that you'd lost it - flipped, bugged, wigged so hard that you ain't have no control left - something probably unusual for a brother known to own control... and she was the one who took you there - so naturally, she'd respond in kind. It ain't have nothing to do with no other motherfucker from the past. Rest his soul in
peace, man."
Shabazz lifted his shot glass to Carlos when the bartender put it before him and clinked the side of Carlos's rocks glass. "Rest his soul in peace."
"Right, man." Carlos took a sip of Remy and then rolled the near empty glass between his palms. "Didn't I just go through this?"
Shabazz let out a hard breath. "Damn, man, all this shit runs in cycles."
"Yeah it does." Carlos smiled. "Why don't you go take your ass back upstairs so you don't start the other bullshit cycle none of us wants to be caught in, namely, being in the doghouse."
Shabazz chuckled. "I'ma finish my drink."