His eyes held a fervent need for her to understand. She did. So, she allowed her voice to soothe, become a balm, as she drew from every source of wisdom she had.
"Mike got nicked in New Orleans, and after a hard purge, he came back. Right?"
Shabazz looked away, but didn't shrug out of her hold against his cheek. "That was different."
"Why?" Marlene waited and offered him a tender smile. "Our brother got caught up, and staggered back to the hotel, collapsed in Rider's arms, and went into a convulsion. Rider had to take him to a local root worker just to ensure he'd live till he got him home to me."
Shabazz chuckled, despite his determination to stay morose.
"You know, every member of this team has had their turn at delivering drama," she said, her voice containing rich amusement. "Rider would go off on a Jack Daniel's binge and be AWOL for days, only to be found in a titty bar when Jose went on a search and rescue. Dan had us scramble battle stations to bring him in from a six-vamp attack. J.L. almost got whacked by some guys in the casinos for card-counting that time, and Jose took us through major yang behind Dee Dee."
When a slow smile tugged at his cheek, she kissed it. "You almost had a whole team of weres jump us in Bahia, flaring up on Kamal - "
"And you almost stopped my heart when you went down in battle against the Amazon's mother-seer," Shabazz murmured, tracing her eyebrow with the pad of his thumb. "That's the point," he said, his voice dropping, "I don't want to lose anybody to no dumb shit - especially not you, Mar. And if Damali breaks your heart, our heart, a part of you will die inside... which will kill me... because you and I are connected there, too."
He took her mouth so slowly, so tenderly, that only the balm of touch could close the wound he'd exposed to her. Marlene allowed her hands to stroke the thick, magnificent locks that graced his kingly head. His family was changing, purging itself, morphing, and it frightened him - a man who'd already lost his family to this austere life of being a Guardian.
In her arms she held a man who'd wanted nothing more than to have his lion-pride, his family, always safe, protected, and to be in control of its destiny... this man moved against her for comfort because he saw so much of Carlos in himself that it gave him flashbacks... and because she was a woman, not a seer, she knew that the hardest challenge for a man was to let a higher authority be his guide on sheer faith alone.
Rider stood in the garage inner door and watched Jose throw the tarp dustcover off his bike, then stoop to begin polishing the chrome wheels. There was nothing like motion, a man and his Harley, to cure the blues... and what was ailing his best friend was beyond words.
So, he took his time, before encroaching on Jose's private space. "Wanna go take a ride, like old times? Me and you, and a bottle of our old friend Jack Daniel's... hit the desert, look up at the moon, tempt fate on the plains with just a crossbow between us, and get snot-slinging drunk?"
Jose just shook his head no and kept polishing his bike, moving to the exhaust system.
"She's sweet, man," Rider offered. "Integrated header and collector heat shielding, Pro-Pipe... sweet thunder, man. Gotta use her, or lose her, feel me?" When he didn't get a response from Jose, he walked deeper into the garage and gave his own bike a wistful glance, then threw the cover off her. "This is the Easy Rider, custom edition, hottest iron on the planet, and she's almost as old as me... but I take care of my girl, even when she needs an overhaul."
Rider stroked the leather tribal inlaid seat like he was touching a woman's behind, gentle and with deep appreciation. "Almost lost her a few times to a blowout when she slid out from under me on the wet road, when I was younger - before I really knew how to handle her. Then I learned patience and how to baby her... ripped out her engine, modified her for some serious horsepower and torque, installed new inner needle bearings and put on a set of Rinehart duals. Now she purrs. But she's still all Harley, man. Black, silver, and beautiful."
Jose finally looked up and gave Rider a nod of respect. "You've worked her to the bone, man. I'm just learning how."
"Whaduya say we ship these ladies over to Australia with us, man? We can show the Aussies what an all-American chopper can do."
Jose smiled sadly and went back to polishing the elaborate exhaust system on his bloodred bike. "Don't know if I feel like riding her anymore. Not even sure I can look at her, yo. Might fall and get busted up real bad on a new road."
Rider leaned against his monster bike and folded his arms over his chest. "That's why you wear leather when you ride, dude. Keeps you from getting tore up to the bone. You know that. You also know what a rush it is going down new dirt you ain't never touched before."
When Jose gave him the silent treatment again, Rider let his breath out hard. "You've already fallen, man. You know what it feels like, and you didn't die. Your ass hit the ground hard before with Dee Dee, then you got up. Let it go, and get yourself a new lady to ride - "
"But that was different, man," Jose said quietly. "Damali had never made a choice before... so..."
"I know, I know," Rider said, his voice mellow. "It kept hope alive."
"I was willing to follow her to Hell and back, man. In fact, I did."
For a moment, neither of them spoke.
"We all were. Still are," Rider said quietly. "And, she's probably the only one in here who couldn't see you eating your heart out for her... even Dee Dee could tell."
Jose wiped his palm over his chin and stood. "I know."
"All right, youngblood," Rider said, forcing a matter-of-fact tone into his voice. "So, she loves you like a brother, and - "
"She doesn't need me," Jose nearly whispered. "She's got Rivera - the best nose on the planet and..." His words trailed off as he swallowed, staring past Rider to the garage wall.
"And what you felt for those brief moments will last you a lifetime. Ride it in your dreams, dude, but don't lose focus." Rider raked his hair and let out a slow stream of air through his mouth, not sure what else to say.
"He might be dead, but he's the luckiest man on the planet, too." Jose's line of vision went to Rider's to hold it hard. "I don't think I can be in here anymore, brother. It's time for me to push on and take my chances - let the chips fall where they may. I'm out. Solo. Like I said, she don't need anything I've got to give her now. I'm not even straight-up human."