"I chose to come with you," she said slowly.
"Why, because they finally put your ass out?"
The voice had shifted, almost seemed to be circling her. She followed it blindly, trying to keep it in front of her and not at her back.
"They wouldn't have given me the Isis if they'd put me out, Carlos. You know better than that. It would be in my chest."
Again, silence, but she could tell he was thinking.
"Remember when you just told me that I had no concept about the bite... what the different ones meant?"
There was no answer, just a low snarl coming from the corner of the room.
"You rightfully got angry about my lack of understanding," she said, pressing on, her voice unfazed. "I should have trusted that you wouldn't go off with some stray female vamp. Yes, and I should have trusted you. Just give me a chance to explain the soul-sharing ceremony to you, so at least you know how it went down. I wasn't just playing with you, or working you," she said, resolute. "It is no less sacred than a mate bite, for a Neteru."
She waited, could hear the air crackle around her. "Just like I don't have full master awareness from your line because I'm not fully turned, you don't have full Neteru awareness from mine, because you haven't been fully turned. And at the time we did what we did to each other, I had about as much self control as you - none"
She could hear a heavy piece of furniture drag across the floor and smash into the wall. Good, at least she was getting some sort of reaction.
"You were warned about the dangers first, Damali. I wasn't!"
"Yeah, but see, that's just the thing, what I was doing to you wasn't dangerous. It would pull you closer to the Light, not - "
"In case you haven't already figured it out, pulling a master vampire toward the Light is lethal."
More furniture banged, but at least she was starting to be able to see. The foreign darkness was abating and giving way to the mere absence of light. She could make out the beginnings of shapes and forms and started to gain her bearings in the room, but he was still invisible.
"Carlos, seriously. There was only good intent when I held your hands and looked into your eyes. It was a pure rush of passion to give you only the best of me... but I never meant to hurt you. That consequence never even dawned on me, or I would have warned you."
"You should have given me the option, Damali."
"Baby, I was so turned on, so into what was happening between us... you've been there, right? I lost perspective."
When he didn't answer but just breathed out hard, she spoke more gently. Everything she was saying was true - that he had to feel. She spoke slowly and softly, trying to heal his wounded male ego. "I wanted everything you had to give, and wanted to give that right back from me to you."
"D... I don't want to talk about it, or go back to that, right now," the deep voice said, but with much less force. "What's done is done, and you're getting away from the subject at hand, namely, a solution."
"I'm not going to apologize for wanting a full life with you... a future, and normal, healthy babies one day... and friends and family all around, unafraid of creatures of the night preying on them... I refuse to apologize about the fact that ever since the day we met, I've wanted to be in your arms day and night, and - "
"I wanted all those things, too, but you took my pride in the transaction, girl," he said, cutting her off and materializing with his back to her. "My f**king respect. What good is a man with no respect?" He let his breath out hard. "My f**king nose ain't no better than Rider's now. No respect!"
"Respect?" This was some crazy man-shit that she knew she'd never figure out. Prowess bullshit was bad enough in normal human males, but she had no concept of what she'd be dealing with if she had to do circle logic with a master vampire. "Nadie duda de tu capacidad," she said as gently as possible.
"Oh, right, no one doubts my ability," he said in a low seethe, his angry breaths making his back expand and contract as he spoke. "You'd better stop trying to work me, D... talking to me in Spanish, and using that feminine bullshit on me. It won't work. Not tonight!"
Damali felt for the side of the lair bed and flopped down on it. She garnered her patience and drew from her human knowledge base, trying to soothe his wounded ego. "Baby, you're tripping. All your vampire senses are intact. Marlene was just... she was just pissed when she said all that. Rider was, too." Damali waved her arms about. "You can still do your vamp thing. There's nothing wrong with your nose, okay? And anyway, I would never disrespect you. Why would I do that - or want to be with some brother I didn't respect?"
"Not you," he snapped, finally whirling on her to face her. His eyes blazed red, flickering intermittently gold. "I'm a damned head of state! When I go to council meetings, I already have to stop my f**king heartbeat just to enter chambers. I can't go down there with the rest of my shit raggedy. They can't think I have any soft spots, least of all in my heart, woman. And you are disrespecting me by insisting on going after the seal and the key, with or without me. Are you crazy?"
Damali squinted at him in the darkness. Okay, point well taken about him having to keep up appearances in front of the other vampires, but saving humanity was nonnegotiable. She needed him on her side, for them to work as a team, and she was not going to allow him to give in to some unnecessary drama.
"I'm a Neteru - a head of state, too, if you will. A ruler. And, trust me, brother, I'm not supposed to have fangs."
She couldn't believe he was being so stubborn. "You've got problems?" she said, standing. "Yeah, well, I can tell you there's probably an angelic battalion up there ready to hand-deliver me to the other side. They're done. They'll probably drop-kick my butt into the pit, if this goes down wrong. I've temporarily disgraced my kind, too. But as long as we're both still in the game, we can make something positive and honorable come out of both our indiscretions. So what are we going to do about this shit?"
"I don't know," he muttered. "Mar can probably give you something or your system will purge it on its own. The good will purge the darkness, but the thing you forgot, Damali, is that the darkness can never completely banish the Light. It only works to your advantage, not mine. Metaphysics, baby, that's what this whole war is all about on the grand level. Remember?"
"And how is it not in your best interest to ultimately have the Light banish the darkness within you?" She put her hands on her hips, leaving the Isis on the bed, and looked at his now-solid image hard.