He wasn't trying to hear it. Didn't need to think about anything that might make it harder to do what he had to do.
"I bit you, you turned, and you fluxed back. My bad."
"I let you, and wanted you to, and encouraged you to do me."
"Yeah, well, woulda, coulda, shoulda."
"Then I went deep into your head, when you told me not to. Opened Pandora's box."
"Told you curiosity killed the cat."
She smiled a slow, sad smile. "You did."
"You satisfied now?"
She shook her head. "I'm sorry."
"Me, too... more than you'll ever know."
He glanced at her, and then glanced up at the moon. "This is an old conversation, D. You know where it leads."
"I know. Then why aren't you doing your transport thing, if you're hell-bent on sending me away?"
For a moment he didn't answer her, but then the truth came out. "Because I really don't want to. You actually ready to die?" He let his breath out hard. "There's a good chance that four masters against me, even at my level, will win. One, or all four of those bastards, might be in possession of the key. Against you and your team, they'll get slaughtered. I don't want to think about what they'll do to you if you're captured. That I cannot live with."
"No, I don't want any of us to die. Without the key being returned to hallowed ground, is there such a thing as life on this planet? There's a certain way I want to live."
He nodded. He could respect that, always did. But it didn't change his position. "Why didn't you just listen to me when I told you not to take me there in Rio? Why'd you have to go that deep into my mind?"
She smiled sadly and looked out into the night. "We're way off the subject, but if you must know, I was jealous."
"What?"
"I wanted to be the only one you fantasized about. After some of the places you'd been..."
Carlos closed his eyes and shook his head. "Oh, shit, Damali. You didn't need to go there to be the one."
"I wanted to know what a double-plunge was, and to do that with you. I also wanted to experience going to the vanishing point with you, albeit you haven't taken me there yet. But now I have an idea." She sighed and looked down. "I didn't want some female vamp seducing you one night to try something that you couldn't get from me. I figured it was bound to happen sooner or later."
He looked at her, allowing his gaze to rake her, burning her into his memory for what might very well be the last time. "Go deep, right now, and get the question settled in your mind once and for all. Then, answer my question. Are you really ready to end our relationship like this? Because you know, if I find either the seal or the key, I'll turn it over to them to save your life, whether you want to be with me or not."
Her pull was so intense that she shuddered from the answer she siphoned from him. She took two steps toward him, but then stopped herself, although she never broke eye contact with him.
"That's what I thought," he murmured. "But in this condition, you can't have it both ways. If you haven't already totally crossed over by the end of the mission, I'll flat-line you to save you, and you want to live as a human."
"Yeah. I do. That's why I stopped walking."
His fangs dropped and were slow to recede. It took him a moment to answer her. "You sure you wanna leave and try to go after the key yourself?"
"What I want to do, and what I have to do, are two different things. Either we do this together, or I do it alone. But don't try to sweet-talk me into some bullshit compromise, Carlos. I'm not down for a vamp seduction."
He needed night air. Standing in the confines of the foyer with her was too much of a temptation to simply turn her all vamp and be done with the options. "Can't blame a man for trying," he said, smiling, but coming closer to her. "But what if it's too late? What if you really did die in my arms already?"
"What if I didn't?"
She looked away from him and out into the night, through the windows by the door.
He closed his eyes and walked away from her, his hand going to the nape of his neck as he tried to rub away the tension in it. "Going after them as a team is one helluva gamble, D."