However, you are with Aleksei, and that is my consolation. He will walk into a hail of bullets for you.
He had.
Yet as loyal as he is, there is a darkness to him. Since the first winter I brought him to Berezka, he has not spoken about his childhood, but I know it was horrific. I never pressed him to talk about it, because I sensed he wanted to shed his past and make a fresh start.
This was a failing on my part.
Dorogaya, he’s like an intricate clock, and some mechanism deep within is broken. He bears scars inside and out, and until he can trust another enough to confide about his past, I don’t believe he will ever be whole. Coax him to entrust you with his burdens.
How? If Sevastyan hadn’t learned to open up by now . . .
Not that I expected him to know how. He’d been raised from the age of thirteen in a domicile inhabited by men, rife with guns and criminals.
And who knew what had happened to him before that?
You’re a wealthy woman now. Once you are out of danger, please see the world and live out your dreams.
With all my heart, I hope you and Aleksei can build a future together on a strong foundation. But if you can’t, my brave daughter, then eye the horizon. Life is short. Take it from someone who apparently knows.
Tears clouded my vision. Again his wryness permeated his words. But we would never laugh together again, would never share jokes.
You are my life’s great surprise, treasured beyond words. However much time I got to spend with you was not enough—and never could be.
With all my love,
Bátja
Through tears, I reread the letter several times, until I was almost numbed to it, then placed it in the inner pocket of my suitcase. As I began to pack, I reflected on my father’s advice about Sevastyan.
I wasn’t a big fan of women trying to fix men, to change them. I always figured there were guys enough out there, so I should look for a total package that was already fully Ikea-assembled—or go without.
But getting Sevastyan to open up didn’t necessarily involve changing him, it involved getting to know him. Like a scholarly investigation.
Our relationship needed work. Work is what I do.
Did I want Sevastyan enough to fight for him? Yes. Yes, I did. I’d wanted him since I’d first seen him.
I had to try.
I emerged from the cabin just as he was disconnecting a call. With the same mysterious person as before?
“Are you well?” His way of asking about the letter.
“Yes. Paxán wrote a beautiful good-bye.”
Sevastyan nodded. “I’ve just learned that much of the danger has lessened. Word of the bounty’s expiration has spread, and Berezka has been secured. Your father’s funeral will be held there in two weeks.”
“I see.” I swallowed past a lump in my throat. “Are we going back there now?”
“Not yet. I’ve rented a car for us to head south to Paris. There’s a secure property in the city.”
“But if the danger is dwindling . . .”
“I trust the information about Berezka—but not enough to risk your life.”
“Who’s giving you the intel? One of the brigadiers?”
“A man named Maksim.”