"I-I went to his tent."
"Why in the hell would you do that?"
"Cas, please . . ."
He laid his hands on her shoulders. "Tell me!" His horns had straightened ominously.
She'd never seen him so angry. She grasped for a lie, but she'd always wanted to be truthful with him. "The vampire told me . . . he would spare you in the melee."
"So that's why he aided me? My gods, Bettina, he forced you to do things by threatening my life? You whored yourself for my safety?"
"No! Yes? When you say it like that, it sounds so much worse than it was."
Cas wasn't listening. "He's earned a slow death." He looked over his shoulder in the direction of the vampire's tent, his grip on her tightening. "I'll make it last-for days."
Would he go attack Daciano this second? Neither could kill the other outside the ring.
"Cas, it wasn't quite that way."
He turned back. "Then what way was it?"
She remembered Daciano's damp skin in the firelight, the sultry warmth of that tent. His eyes like onyx. She took a breath and admitted, "I didn't do anything I didn't want to do at the time."
Cas released her at once, backing up with his hands in front of him. "Do you want him now? Is that it? I can't stop this tournament, Bettina. I can't come back from this."
"I-I don't know. I'm just so confused by everything-"
"Look at you!" Cas exclaimed. "You crave that vampire even now!"
"I do not!" Do I? Now that her entire existence had been upended yet again, she couldn't stop replaying how it had felt to be enveloped in the vampire's mist. Tethered to him.
Chapter 33
Connected.
After she'd lost her power, that feeling of emptiness had tolled inside her. But the connection she'd shared with Daciano had made that ache ebb, even if just a little.
As if her growing bond with him didn't leave any room for emptiness.
"Then, by all means, have fun on your tour." Cas pointed his finger at her face. "If the vampire beds you tonight, you better pray I can defeat Gourlav."
"Please don't be mad at me!" She reached out to touch his shoulder, but he recoiled, tracing away.
She stared after him for long moments. They'd never fought before, had always gotten along with such ease. Yet just now he'd looked as if he couldn't stand the sight of her.
Turning toward her rooms, she passed the guards posted at her door, ducking her head so they couldn't see her watering eyes.
Their mewling, halfling soon-to-be queen. Who had no idea what she was doing.
Don't cry, don't cry. . . .
As soon as the door closed behind her, she removed her mask and swiped her forearm over her face. How could she not cry?
She'd fought with all her loved ones, and the guilt was heavy. They were all that she had in the world. Unless she counted the vampire. You are mine . . . we are fated.
On top of tonight's developments, she was still trapped in this process-helpless to do anything but watch as Daciano and Cas likely went to their deaths.
Tears don't help anything. What to do? Go outside and take in the night. But her feet wouldn't quite shuffle her outside.