circle, taking in the dark walls, the posters for video events and basement electronica parties. Baron and Collingswood did not sit, though Marge gestured them at the sofa. She got a breath of some earthy, porky smell, and blinked.
“I gather you’ve mislaid some friends, Miss Tilley,” Baron said. Marge considered correcting him, Ms. did not bother.
“I wasn’t expecting to see you,” she said. “At your office they told me you couldn’t really do anything.”
“Ah, well, they don’t know what we know. What relation are you to Billy Harrow?”
“Billy? None at all. It’s Leon I’m with.”
“With?”
“I told you.”
“You haven’t told me anything, Miss Tilley.”
“I told them at the station. He’s my lover.”
Collingswood rolled her eyes and wobbled her head, La di fucking da. She click-clicked, as if at an animal, gestured with her chin toward the other rooms.
“And you haven’t heard anything from Leon since he went to meet Billy?” Baron said.
“I didn’t even know for sure that’s where he’d gone. How come you came so fast? I mean they said not to expect …” She opened her mouth in a sudden zero of terror. “Oh God, have you found him …?”
“No no,” said Baron. “Nothing like that. What it is is this is one of those dovetailing situations. Collingswood and I, we’re not generally Missing Persons, you see. We’re from a different squad. But we got a heads-up about your problem, because it may have bearing on our case.”
Marge stared at him. “… The squid thing? Is that what you’re investigating?”
“Fu-u-u-ck!” said Collingswood. “I knew it. That little bastard.”
“Ah.” Baron raised his eyebrows mildly. “Yes. We sort of wondered if Billy’d been able to resist a natter.”
“Got to give it to him, boss, for someone who don’t know what he’s doing, he’s got some clout. Come on, you.” She said the last to no one, so far as Marge could tell.
“We’d much rather you kept whatever he mentioned to yourself, if you don’t mind, Miss Tilley.”
“You think this has something to do with Leon going missing?” Marge said, incredulous. “And Billy? Where do you think they are?”
“Well, that’s what we’re looking into,” Baron said. “And you can rest assured we’ll let you know as soon as we know anything. Was Billy talking a lot about the squid? Had Leon been to see it? Was he a regular at the museum?”
“What? No, not at all. I mean, he’d seen it once, I think. But he wasn’t that interested.”
“Did he talk to you about it?”
“Leon?” she said. “You mean did he tell me about it disappearing? He thought it was hilarious. I mean he knew it was a big deal for Billy. But it was so weird, you know? He had to take the piss. I wasn’t even a hundred percent sure if Billy was bullshitting, you know?”
“Yeah, no,” Collingswood said.
“Why on earth would you think he’d make something like that up?” Baron said.
“Well. It hasn’t been in the news or anything, has it?”
“No,” said Baron. “Ah, but therein, therein is a tale. Of gag orders the like of which you’ve no idea.” He smiled.
“Anyway, it’s not like Leon approved of it. He just … the whole idea of it made him laugh. He texted me some joke about it before he …”
“Oh yeah,” said Collingswood. “It is quite the riot.”
“Come on,” said Marge. “Someone nicked a giant squid. Come on.”
“What can you tell us about Billy?” Baron said. “What do you think of him?”
“Billy? I don’t know. He’s alright. I don’t really know him. He’s Leon’s friend. Why are you asking?”
Baron glanced at Collingswood. She shook her head and tugged the lead. “Not a sausage,” she said. “Ooh, sorry Perky.”
“What’s going on?” Marge said.
“We’re just doing some detecting, Miss Tilley,” Baron said.
“Should I …? How worried should I be?”
“Oh, not very,” he said. “Would you, Kath?”
“Nah.” Collingswood was texting someone.
“You know the more I think about it, I don’t think this is related to what we’re up to. So if I were you I wouldn’t worry.”
“Yeah,” said Collingswood, still thumbing her message. “Nah.”
“Now,” said Baron, “obviously we’ll let you know if we realise otherwise. But I must say I’m doubtful. Many thanks.” He nodded. He touched his forefinger to the brow of his nonexistent cap; Cheerio then.
“Hey, what?” Marge said. “Is that it?” Collingswood was already by the door, popping her collars like a dandy. She winked at Marge. “What just happened?” Marge said. “Are you going? What happens now?”
Collingswood said to her, “Rest assured we’re going to leave no stone