Kissing the Player - Maggie Dallen Page 0,18

But I don’t know all the dancers.

Me: If you hear anything let me know?

All three of them agreed to keep an ear out.

Lola: So I take it you’re going for that prize as well as acting?

Me: Yeah. Just hedging my bets. I really need a scholarship so I can get as far away from home as possible.

For some reason, I could say that to them. Hannah knew my home life situation, but she was the only person at our school who had any idea how miserable I was living with my mom and how much I was dying to escape after graduation. I didn’t want anyone else to know, particularly not the guys I dated. Why?

I scowled at the memory of Jax in the hallway today.

Precisely for that reason. Guys had this weird idea that girls wanted to be taken care of. Maybe some girls did, but this girl?

She could take care of herself, thank you very much. And the last thing I wanted was a bunch of strangers getting all up in my biz or worse, taking pity on me.

Yet, for some reason, I had no problem saying it in a chat with three relative strangers.

Lola: Girl, I hear you.

Layne: We’re in the same boat. We need that money.

Lillian: I don’t think any of us would be putting ourselves through all this if we didn’t, right?

I stared at Lillian’s comment. She was right. That was why the competition was so fierce. Everyone in it was out for blood. Everyone competing was likely just as desperate as I was.

I hesitated for a second. Maybe it was the fact that it was an online chat so it felt anonymous, or maybe because I knew I wouldn’t have to face them at school the next day, but I ended up spilling my guts.

Me: I’m getting nervous that I don’t have what it takes to win the acting scholarship.

There was a long pause and then it felt like all three of them started typing at once.

Lola: Same!! (But with singing.)

Layne: I am TERRIFIED that people are going to hate my song.

Lillian: I’m just terrified. Period.

Next thing I knew Lola was trying to reassure Layne, and Layne was reassuring Lillian, and Lillian was reassuring me.

It was kind of…nice.

Like, for the first time in a long time I was talking to people who totally got it.

Layne: I guess we’re all scared, huh? That’s nice to know.

Lola: I wouldn’t say we’re ALL scared…

I snorted with laughter because I knew who she meant. The FB page was filled with comments from the diva to end all divas—Jenna. She had no problem bragging about her song or giving people notes on what they should and should not do.

Me: Jenna can’t be scared. That would require having emotions.

Layne: And a heart.

Lola posted a GIF of the Wicked Witch from Wizard of Oz and I collapsed back on my bed with laughter, feeling better than I had all day.

Layne: Thanks for reaching out, Rose. It’s nice to know we’re not the only ones stressing over here.

Lola: Yeah, we should keep in touch. It helps to have allies.

Me: I just labeled this group chat “Diva Squad” so it’s official. An alliance has been formed.

Lola threw up a GIF from Survivor and a little while later we all signed off, but that feeling of dread had subsided big time. I might not have had much support from my mom, but at least I had some friends out there who understood the pressure.

And even better?

I had a plan.

5

Jax

My mom was big into TV. I grew up watching a lot of it, and I knew her favorites almost as well as she did. There were some common themes to the ones she loved best.

There was Ross and Rachel. Blair and Chuck. Peyton and Lucas. Angela and Tony.

My mom was addicted to these will-they-won’t-they relationships, and I got it. I could see the appeal.

But here was the thing. On-again-off-again, will-they-won’t-they relationships? They were way better in fiction than in real life.

Take my word for it.

I shoved a pillow over my head as my parents screamed. About what?

Didn’t matter.

Another day, another disaster. My parents seemed to thrive on melodrama. Don’t get me wrong. They loved each other—passionately. They were disgustingly into PDA when they were feeling all lovey-dovey. But they also hated each other—just as passionately.

They swung from one end of the spectrum to the other so often it would have made me dizzy if I bothered to keep track. As it was, I was over