The Kingmaker (All the King's Men Duet #1) - Kennedy Ryan Page 0,110
sorts and continue a few yards more until we reach a small stone bench. He sits and leans back, supporting his weight with his hands flattened on the bench and his arms stretched straight.
“Talk to me, Nix,” he says, watching my face closely in the moonlight. “Tell me what you’re thinking.”
I blink at the sudden hot wetness behind my eyes.
I’m afraid.
I want to tell him that I can face down Dobermans and tear gas and rubber bullets at a protest. I can give speeches broadcast to hundreds of thousands of people without a second thought. I can lead a team to elect governors and maybe even a president. But the thought of trusting him with so much of myself . . . again, scares me.
“Wallace and I aren’t together.” I start with the easiest of the things I need to say.
Maxim’s brows lift and a satisfied grin spreads across his handsome face. “When did this happen?”
“Oh, about three months after we got together.” I pause for impact. “Almost ten years ago.”
His smile disappears. “Excuse me? But you said . . . you lied to me?”
“Not exactly,” I say, my voice offering no apology. “I did what you did. I let you believe what you wanted about the truth.”
“The hell I did that. What do you mean?”
“I did start dating him the year I graduated from college. I just left out that we only lasted three months.”
“You two still seem extremely close. Why didn’t it work out?”
“We are the best of friends.” I chuckle. “You’ll laugh at this. I told him it was like having sex with my foster step-cousin.”
He’s quiet while I snicker.
“You thought I would laugh about you fucking someone else?” he asks, a serrated edge to his voice. “I don’t find that funny at all.”
My light laughter fizzles into a thickening silence. He doesn’t crack a smile. “You’re being really intense right now, Doc.”
“I thought you knew I’m pretty intense when it comes to you.” Our stare holds in the moonlight with only the faintest clink of glasses and music in the distance. “I already knew you dated Wallace before because I kept tabs on you through the years. Not in a stalkery way.”
“Is there a non-stalkery way to keep tabs on someone for ten years?”
“Yeah, the way I did it.”
“If you say so,” I say with a tiny smirk. “Why’d you keep tabs on me in this non-stalkerish manner?”
“I wanted to see how your career was going. I knew you’d do great, but even I never imagined you’d do so well so quickly.”
“Thank you.”
“And I was curious if you married or had kids, a family.” He pauses before going on. “What I had with you, I’ve never even come close with anyone else, and that was in only a week. Imagine if it had been more. Now it can be more if you give me another chance.”
“I don’t know, Doc.” I let the words fall, unsure if I should pick them up again. I know what I want, that I want him, but the fear I hid even from myself still makes me hesitate.
“Give me another chance, Nix. That’s all I’m asking.”
“That’s all?” I nearly choke on my disbelieving laugh. “You’re a wolf in wolf’s clothing. You’ll want everything.”
“Everything.” His agreement comes softly, but his eyes turn hard as sea glass. “There’ll be no one else for you.”
“See what I mean? You’ll be growly and possessive and demanding.”
“Of course I will.”
“You’ll be all mine, mine, dammit, mine and—”
“Only when someone needs reminding.”
“I’m embarking on the most important campaign of my life, Maxim.”
“So am I, and I’m not talking about Owen’s.”
“Doc,” I groan. “Maybe this isn’t the right time. It’s a lot fast.”
“Fast? It’s been ten years.” He reaches up and caresses my lips with his thumb. “Any time we can get our shit together is the right time.”
“There’s something else we need to discuss.” I fix my eyes on the expensive boots peeking out from beneath his pants. “Wallace wasn’t the only thing I hid behind. I think I hid behind your lies.”
“What do you mean?”
“My therapist has a theory about me.” I laugh humorlessly. “She has several because apparently, I’m a basket case.”
He doesn’t laugh, but reaches for my hand and pulls me forward a few inches to stand between his legs. I don’t pull back.
“Tell me these theories.”
“Mena agrees with her. She always says, ‘you paid a stranger to tell you what I told you years ago.’” I lift my eyes to briefly meet his,