“I know, but the usual way for people with a shred of common sense involves condoms or shots or pills that keep this from happening.”
“The pills made me sick. The shots made my hair fall out, so Caleb used condoms.”
“Apparently not every time,” Lo mutters, eyebrows sky high.
“Yes, every time, Lo.” I swallow another wave of nausea, this one less to do with my pregnancy and more to do with the tough choices ahead of me. “We were always careful. We didn’t want to jeopardize our future plans.”
“You didn’t want to jeopardize your future plans,” Lotus says, doubt leaking into her voice. “This pregnancy means you might have to depend on Caleb more. It makes it harder for you to be independent and live apart from him. Maybe he was less careful than you thought.”
“No.” I shake my head in adamant denial. “And don’t you think I would have noticed if he skipped the condom? Caleb wouldn’t do that. He didn’t want me living somewhere else and working in another state, but he would never do this on purpose.”
“He wrapped it up?” Lo lifts a skeptical brow. “Every time?”
“Every time,” I say with confidence, because to even entertain what she’s suggesting would make Caleb a stranger to me—a manipulative person willing to sacrifice my future, my dreams for his wishes. And I can’t believe I’d be intimate with someone like that and never know. I can’t have been that wrong about him. It’s just not possible.
“What’re you gonna do about it?” Lo rests her chin in the heel of her hand and watches me steadily.
“I’ll talk to him, of course,” I tell Lo, glancing at my phone on the bed to check the time. “He’s coming over. We’ll talk and decide what to do together. I’ll figure it all out. This pregnancy won’t slow me down.”
The words ring hollow. It will change things. It has to impact my plans, of course, but I know I can make it work. I have to.
I sign off, promising to call Lotus once Caleb and I finish talking. We’ve both always been afraid of ending up like our mothers—depending on a man for everything, taking his scraps. This isn’t that. I know it, and I hope Lotus knows, but she still wants to make sure. And when I face Caleb on my doorstep, so do I.
When I tell him, his laugh booms in my small room. A wide smile crinkles his eyes and creases his lean cheeks.
“This is awesome.” He grabs me by the shoulders and dusts kisses all over my face. “Baby, this is the beginning of our future together.”
Or the end of the one I envisioned for myself, if I’m not careful.
I press my hands to his chest, carving out a small space of breathing room.
“It’s not awesome, Caleb,” I say softly, firmly. “It’s a problem. I’m about to start my career. I’ve been interviewing for positions and feel really good about my prospects. This is a major wrench.”
“Baby, you don’t have to work anymore.” Arrogance stamps his face. “You never really needed to. Even without an NBA contract, I can take care of you. You don’t need to worry about anything. Just move with me, and you and the baby will be taken care of.”
Taken care of.