“Not gonna happen,” I mutter, opening my laptop again in the hope that they’ll drop it.
“What won’t happen? You and Kenan, or you telling us about his dick?” Billie asks. “I mean, he’s such a big man. Can you imagine if he had a little dick? That would be like a cosmic joke. A curse.”
I’m totally silent. They don’t even realize how badly they’re trampling my nerves.
“And you know how much I love a big dick,” Yari says.
“Yeah, remember that guy you slept with when you thought he might have an STD?” Billie asks, her face crunchy with disgust.
“One.” Yari enumerates on her finger. “He wrapped it up really tight.”
I snicker, because only Yari.
“And two,” she says, a salacious grin painted on her lips. “He came back clean.”
“You got lucky!” Billie says, pointing at her and giggling.
“I sure did. He was so fine,” Yari agrees half-dreamily. “Now you know a man is fine when he has a gimpy dick and he can still get it. Okurrrr.”
“Don’t invoke Cardi B,” I say with a grin.
“And remember that guy you messed around with that time, Lo?” Billie’s peal of laugher sails from her mouth and fills the backroom. “The seminary student?”
I comb my memory and as soon as I recall the guy she means, I laugh, too. Hard.
“Oh, my God,” I gasp, covering my mouth. “The one who said if I didn’t go down on him, I was gonna miss my blessings!”
The three of us lose it, and my laptop, the spec sheets, the show—all of it is forgotten for a few minutes of cutting up with my girls. I didn’t realize how much this residual hurt from my past has been weighing me down. Laughing with them, being silly, even for just a few minutes, feels good.
When we sober, I glance at my phone, see the time, and grimace.
“Okay, for real,” I tell them, opening my laptop again, “I need to finish this for JP.”
“Alright, it was good catching up,” Billie says, standing. “But you’re right. I have a report due to Paul by tomorrow morning.”
Yari and I raise our brows to the same level of don’t get us started, but remain silent.
“Don’t, you guys,” Billie says, all humor evaporating from her expression. “Just leave it alone. I know you think he’s not worth it.”