“I remember.” Her gaze narrows, sharpens. “That was some kiss.”
“It was,” I agree with a stiff smile. I swallow my pride and ask the question burning a hole in my tongue. “So is Lotus in today?”
“She’s working.” With twitching lips, she presses the iPad to her chest. “But I think she had some errands to run.”
Dammit. “I see.”
I feel like a teenage boy standing at a locker asking some girl’s friend if she likes me. I hadn’t thought about Lotus’s age until our conversation at the shoot. At twenty-five, I hadn’t even been in the league five years. I was a new dad, a new husband. I don’t even recognize that kid in myself anymore. I can’t find him. To think of all I experienced in eleven years—Lotus still has all of that ahead of her.
Something about the way Billie’s looking at me makes me wonder if Lotus has talked about us with her friends. Not that there’s much of an “us” to discuss yet, but I still feel a certain protectiveness of the friendship we’re cultivating. I don’t get a gossip vibe from Lotus. I can’t imagine her running to TMZ or selling her story to the tabloids, and there’s really nothing to tell yet, but Dr. Packer warned us to be careful how Simone finds out about romantic interests.
“I could tell her you stopped by,” Billie says, her voice almost conspiratorial, like we have a secret.
“Nah, but thanks.” I smooth my expression over and walk ahead of her. By necessity, I got really good at masking my emotions and shutting everyone out. Every day, some reporter was digging in my trash, literally and figuratively. I can’t have my life exposed that way again. I don’t think Lotus would share my personal details, but look how badly I misjudged Bridget.
I’m almost at the door when I run into Lotus’s other friend from the party, Yari.
“Hi,” she says. “How ya doing?”
“Fine.” I keep my voice curt. Not friendly.
“Were you looking for Lotus?” Her smile teases me, and again, I wonder if I’m the butt of some joke everyone knows but me.
“No, I had a meeting with JP.” I allow my irritation to show in my frown. “Gotta go.”
I stalk off to the lobby, but the damn elevator is taking forever. It’s one floor. There’s no way I’m standing here for another minute when I could have been down the steps and gone by now. I take the stairs, and I’m rounding the second curve of the staircase leading to the first floor when something heavy pounds me in the chest and knocks me back into the stairwell wall.
“Shit,” says a female voice, muffled behind a huge bolt of red fabric. “I’m so sorry.”
When she props the fabric up against the wall, I see the woman behind the voice.
“Lotus?” I ask, thrown not just by the blow to my midsection, but by the sight of her.
It’s boiling hot outside today, and the faintest sheen of sweat coats her top lip and the curves at her temples. Her T-shirt is cut to fall below her breasts. White linen shorts sit low on her hips, exposing the firm plane of her stomach and the feminine muscles etched under her skin. A lotus flower tattoo blossoms around her belly button. The shorts are so tiny, they barely hit the tops of her thighs. Ink peeks out from beneath the cuffs, but it’s mostly covered and I can’t make out what it is.
Desire hits me harder than that bolt of fabric to my belly. I wish I could figure out how to stop wanting her. She’s twenty-five years old. Too young for me. Too complicated. We said just friends, but I don’t know if I can do that. I want to fuck her every time we’re in the same room, and when we’re not together, I’m thinking about it. I know we need to keep this simple. That’s the smart thing to do, but I find myself not wanting to do the smart thing. I’ve been blind and stupid before. I can’t afford to do that again.