feels scared, it is a natural feeling that we all share at some point. After all, without fear, there can be no bravery. And any soldier who is not scared of battle, can be dangerous. It is the overcoming of one’s fears that is the mark of real courage. Our wars are many, fought these days by all of our people, because of the tyrant we now face. Oh, how I wish that it were not so. The women and children of our land suffer just as much as the men, it is not right! Or fair. But that is how things are, and it is up to us to change things. Krar! Do you not have wars in your world, Ben?” asked Knesh softly, his mood resolute but sombre as he reflected with sorrow on the situation that had developed in his own country.
“What? Oh yes, of course we do, lots of ‘em. There’s always a war happening somewhere on my world. Hey, I suppose that’s really sad, isn’t it? I’ve never really thought about it before. I mean, wars happen I know, but it’s always been so far away. Actually, my dad’s a soldier. Well, he was.” stated Ben as an afterthought.
“He is? Rarr! The son of a warrior, ka! I knew there was something about you, Ben. Just the way you carry yourself told me you had something of the warrior in you. See? It has never been that far away from you, has it? All this time and it was right on your doorstep. Then surely, you must know something of what it takes to be a soldier? Has your father never talked of it?”
Ben’s demeanour changed as soon as he began thinking about his father. He wanted to talk honestly about his true feelings, but he was finding it increasingly difficult, and he was now entering territory that he’d deliberately avoided with everyone he knew for years. He picked up a stick and began poking the dirt for no particular reason as he talked.
“War? I know that it’s completely destroyed him!” he replied emotionally. “I know that he’s lost everything and everyone he ever cared about because of it. And I know how it has affected him. He’s a pale shadow of the man he was. Eh? Perhaps that’s why I’m so afraid, Knesh? Perhaps my own fear is so great, because I don’t want to end up like him? I mean, that would be natural, wouldn’t it? Does that make sense to you?”
Ben looked longingly at Knesh for an answer, but the warrior just shrugged at him a little and remained silent. “Aw, I just don’t know, Knesh. I’m lost. I’m just trying to understand all of this. It’s not just the thought of battle that scares me, it’s everything! I’m worried about Jake, sure I am, but, it’s much more than that. I… We should not be here! I’m sorry, I know this sounds terrible, but this is not our war. It’s not our fight. Does that sound harsh? We’re just boys, Knesh. We’re not soldiers or heroes, what are we doing here? I don’t even know if we’ll ever get back home. And that thought terrifies the life out of me. What if we die here? Will anyone know? And while we’re here, I’m not even sure what good I’ll be to Jake anyway. I mean, he seems to be some kind of superhero here, with great powers and all that. But I’m... Well, I’m just me, Knesh! Little old me. What good can I do? I want to be able to help, really I do, but I feel so... Useless!” he rasped, in a voice raised as high as he dared.
Ben stopped for a moment as he suddenly thought of how his words might sound to the warrior from Rhuaddan. He hadn’t meant to unload all of his troubles onto the soldier he hardly knew, it had just ‘come out.’ He knew that the warrior was still listening avidly to what he was saying. He could also tell that he was struggling for a response to his questions, it was obviously uncomfortable for him, but he was at least trying. And Ben really respected him for that. The young boy had never had this kind of open, honest discussion before with anyone other than Jake. And, even with him, he’d never discussed his father. He didn’t know why he’d opened his heart so completely to Knesh, a stranger he’d only met