"Mind wipe?" A horrible suspicion occurred to me. "Oh no, you're not going to tell me that what happened last night was something paranormal, are you?"
"Let's look at the facts," Sarah said, ticking items off her fingers. "First, two women show up at a s¨¦ance knowing your name and that you are a virtue."
"I am not a virtue," I said, waiting for Darla to serve my breakfast and leave the room before continuing. "A virtue is not a person, it's a concept."
"Yes, but how did they know you would be at that exact spot at that exact time?" Sarah asked, triumph evident in her voice.
"Easy." I smeared a little homemade berry jam on my toast and took a bite. "They asked the pub owner. Or Darla. Or the shopkeeper down the road whom you told just about our entire schedule to. Any one of those three people knew we were going off to that s¨¦ance."
"Yes, but how would someone know who to ask, eh?"
I rolled my eyes and chewed my toast.
"Second, the women were there to administer the first in who-knows-how-many trials. I'm not sure what that's all about, but I know we'll figure it out sooner or later."
I licked a smidgen of jam off my upper lip. "Right, and since Theo mentioned something about trials earlier, it's obvious they are working with him. Honestly, Sarah, it's as clear as the noses on both our faces - you're a famous author. You have gazillions of readers all over the world. Somehow, Theo got hold of the news that you were going to be in the area, no doubt from your English publisher, and since you make no bones about believing in every out-there theory floating around, he decided to set up an elaborate hoax to sucker you in."
"Sucker me in for what?" she asked, looking mulish.
I waved the jam spoon around. "I don't know, but it has to be something to do with money. Why else would he go to all the time and expense of hiring people to playact the parts of Hope, Tansy, and the big, horsey Dame Margaret woman."
"You can't tell me you seriously believe that nothing paranormal happened last night!" Sarah's face mirrored her disbelief. "How on earth do you explain that bright blue light? Or Mystic Bettina and the others having their memories wiped clean? Or the fact that I was held immobile while you were being beaten up?"
"Flat-panel lights in the ceiling, they were lying, and hypnosis," I said, wiping the crumbs off my mouth and pushing my plate aside. "You ready to go? We can swing by the police station first, before we head out to look for the Hound of the Baskervilles."
"It's not the Hound of the Baskervilles, as you very well know. The Black Shuck is a ghostly black dog according to local legend, and evidently it's become quite active the last few years...oh, never mind. The Shuck can wait. It's not supposed to appear before dark anyway. You're being entirely unreasonable about this, Portia. The bet aside, I don't understand why you are so unwilling to admit that you have become involved with something highly paranormal."
"You have yet to prove to me that anything paranormal has happened," I said with complacency that I knew would drive her wild. I was right. She lectured me for the next few hours while we drove out to view a circle of stones known as the Angry Stones. We didn't see or hear either the singing reputed to be audible or the medieval fair that supposedly haunts the area, although we did have a pleasantly relaxing drive through the country.
"This has been a lovely day," I said five hours later as we drove past the area containing the faery circle and headed for the humpbacked bridge leading into our town. "Beautiful countryside, shopping, lunch at a five-hundred-year-old pub...it's everything I imagined this trip would be."
"It is pretty country, isn't it?"
"Yes." I sighed, reality pressing down on me again. "I suppose we should visit the police before dinner and do the mug-shot thing with them. Ugh. What a way to end such an idyllically normal day. Not one single event had your paranormal meter shrieking."
"I never shriek," Sarah said as she rounded the corner before the bridge. At the sight of a figure standing smack-dab in the center of the bridge, she slammed her foot down on the brakes, and shrieked, "Dear god in heaven, where did he come from?"
The car skidded to a stop a few feet away from the man on the bridge. I narrowed my eyes as the man walked around to my side of the car. "I'm beginning to think the local loony bin. Don't just sit there - drive!"
"What? Are you blind? That's Theo!"
"My point exactly. Drive!"
"But he obviously wants to say somethiiiii - Portia!"
"Whatever he wants to say, he can say it to a policeman," I said grimly, leaning backward at an odd angle so I could keep my foot on the accelerator.
"You could have killed him!" Sarah yelled. "Get your foot out of the way! I can't drive with your foot like that!"
We whipped past Theo at a faster-than-normal pace. Despite Sarah's exaggeration, he wasn't in any danger of being run over; he'd been in the process of walking around to my side of the car, and wasn't anywhere near the front. I ignored Sarah's continued demands that I put my foot back, waiting until we were through most of the town before assuming a more traditional passenger position.
"If you ever do that again - I swear to god, Portia, sometimes I just want to strangle you! What will Theo think?" We came to an abrupt halt in front of a small cluster of stone buildings.
I unhooked the seat belt and got out of the car, grabbing the replacement purse I'd purchased earlier. "Sarah, he's a con man, nothing more. We don't care what he thinks."
"I care." She had a familiar mulish look on her face again, one that warned she was going to do something unreasonable. "You can go look at your precious mug shots if you want." She put the car in gear and reversed smoothly away from the police station. "I'm going to go back and apologize to Theo for your rudeness."
"Sarah! It's not safe for you to see him alone - oh, crapbeans!" I watched with frustration as my friend drove off through the town, worried that she would put herself into Theo's power and end up regretting her naive belief that he was not a bad man.