I eyed Alec.
"I will be happy to marry you in a mortal ceremony," he answered the look.
"In a church? " I asked. "My family is like Pia's - they're big on weddings."
"In a church," he agreed solemnly, but his lips twitched.
"A wedding!" Sally said, clapping her hands excitedly. "Oh, I love weddings! You have to let me do your hair and makeup, though. When May - she's a doppelganger and the sweetest wyvern's mate you ever did meet - when she was becoming the consort to a demon lord, which really is the same thing as a wedding, you know, I did her makeup and hair, and she looked absolutely gorgeous. Well, except for the little nothing that Magoth made her wear as a wedding outfit, but you know how men are - if a few leather straps and bit of fur covering the naughty bits aren't included in the ceremony, they just lose interest."
If you even think of asking me to wear -
Don't worry, my tastes are quite different from those of a demon lord, he answered, adding after a moment's thought, Although if you wanted to wear a little nothing made up of leather straps and fur, I wouldn't object.
I pinched his hand and twined my fingers through his.
"I'm so confused," Jane told Eleanor.
"I'm not, unfortunately," the latter answered, shooting both Alec and me a testy look. "Although I don't understand why all of the Tools have been brought together. That seems foolhardy to me."
Jane leaned to the side and whispered in her ear. Eleanor shrugged her off with a harsh word.
"I demand that you leave this instant!" Brother Ailwin shouted. "They are my Tools, and I don't intend to have any upstart lichmaster get her grubby hands on them! Brother Anton, smite the two women, and then bring the Tools to me."
The poor monk glanced hesitantly at Jane. "Er . . ."
"Must I do everything?" Brother Ailwin looked mean enough to do as he threatened.
Maybe you should shoot him a few more times. He looks like he's recovering.
That's not a bad idea, Alec answered, raising the gun.
"Really, you know, you're such a disturbing force here, I just can't take it any longer," Sally said wearily. "Normally I like disturbing, but now . . . no. It's intolerable. Sable, please return them to the mortal world."
At the name, a thickly muscled man appeared out of nothing, obviously one of Sally's minions. He had absolutely no neck, and muscles on his muscles, all clearly evident because he was clad only in a leopard-print G-string.
We all gawked as Sable picked up a now-swearing Brother Ailwin under one beefy arm, and Brother Anton under the other, before he did that fabric-ofbeing tearing thing, and stepped through the tear, taking the two men with him.
"Ailwin can be delightfully entertaining sometimes, but other times . . . well, I'm sure no one here will complain at him being removed. Now, where were we? Oh, yes. As delightful as it is to chat with all of you - and, Cora, I'm quite, quite serious about my offer to do your hair and makeup for your wedding - I do have other things to attend to, and would like to wrap up this business now. So if you don't mind, please join the other two Tools of Bael, and we'll be out of here in a few minutes."
I stared at Sally in abject disbelief. "You have got to be out of your ever-lovin' mind!"
"Not really, no, although sometimes I admit it's a tempting thought. Come here, Cora," she answered with a little gesture.
"There is no way in hell that I'm going to let you use me after what you did!"
She gave me a look that was filled with disappointment.
"No!" I said again, pressing into Alec. "And that's an 'over my dead body' sort of no!"
"Really? That's an awfully definite statement."
"Yes, it is. I'm definite that I'm not going to let you use me to destroy everyone."
"Oh, I won't destroy everyone," she said with an airy wave of her hand. "Just the people who annoy me most."
I clung to Alec's arm. "I don't think so! Diamond, you really should move away from Sally. She's clearly a nutball."
Sally sighed. "Such abuse from you, when really I'm just trying to help."