"Oh, blow it out your piehole." Allie snorted, stomping over to a long table. Four chairs had been set along one side of it, a single chair on the opposite side. She grabbed one of the four and hauled it over to the other side, sitting down with sublime indifference to the fact that her husband looked as if he were going to blow his top.
"Allie, my dear, a lady never refers to a gentleman's hole, pie or otherwise, not even if that gentleman is her husband," a disembodied voice said.
I spun around in a circle, trying to pinpoint it. A small glimmer of light at the far end of the room grew brighter, cohering into the unmistakable image of a short, dumpy female ghost. She beamed at me as Allie answered, "You have to admit that sometimes he has it coming."
"No matter how trying a gentleman may be," the ghost answered, switching her smile to Christian, who was now wearing an odd, martyred sort of expression, "and heaven knows dear Christian could never be considered trying, references such as that are inappropriate. How do you do. I'm Esme. Have you seen Mr. Wuggums?"
"I don't think so," I said hesitantly.
"Mr. Wuggums is Esme's cat," Allie said from her chair. "Esme, as you can see, is a ghost. I had several others, but she's the only one who's remained. Other than Antonio, that is, but Christian and he have an ongoing war, so Antonio only comes out when the coast is clear. And you can stop swearing at me under your breath, Christian. Just because I don't understand Czech doesn't mean I don't know what you're saying."
Christian sputtered but, with immense control, managed to get a grip on his emotions.
"Allie, my dear," Esme started to say, but Allie stopped her by holding up a prohibitive hand.
"Another time, please. Right now I'm more concerned with keeping Pia from being bullied than maintaining proper decorum."
Esme pursed her lips but said nothing.
"No one is bullying anyone," Sebastian said, moving over to stand next to Christian. "We simply wish to get the facts of the situation."
"If you will take a seat, we can begin the hearing," Christian said, gesturing me to the chair next to Allie. He shot his wife a look that she met with raised chin and crossed arms.
"Yes, I will, but... um... this might be out of line, but are you by any chance looking for Ostri?" I asked Esme, who was humming softly to herself.
"Ostri?" she asked, looking surprised for a moment. "I'm afraid I don't know him. Is he a friend of yours? I do love it when we have visitors."
"Ostri is kind of like heaven," I said, at a bit of a loss to explain it to a ghost. "I'm a Zorya, you see. It's my job to take people to wherever it is they're supposed to go."
"Oh! You're just like Allie! Only I've never heard of Ostri."
I glanced in surprise at the woman sitting in the chair, currently engaged in glaring at her husband. "You're a Zorya, too?"
"Hmm? Oh, no. I'm a Summoner."
I stared at her in blank incomprehension.
"We Summon ghosts. We can also Release them. That's sending them on their way to the next plane of existence. From what I've heard from Christian, it's very similar to what you do as a Zorya."
"You are nothing like a Zorya," Christian said emphatically. He held out my chair, obviously waiting for me to sit in it.
I did so, not wanting to irritate him any more than he already was.
"We'll talk about it later," Allie said in a confidential tone.
"You will do nothing of the kind," Christian declared, taking up his spot on the other side of the table. Sebastian and Rowan flanked him on either side, the three of them making an intimidating presence.
"Pfft," Allie said, leaning toward me. "Don't let them scare you. They're really not that bad when you get to know them. Just as soon as we get this business cleared up, you'll see that underneath all that bluster there are some really nice men. But I expect you've found that out with Kristoff."
"This business?" I asked. "What business, exactly?"
Allie gaped at me for a moment before turning her stunned gaze on her husband. "You didn't bother to tell her?"
"That is what this hearing is for," he said with a faint air of discomfiture.
Allie stared at him for a couple of seconds before saying, "I'm going to have a few things to say to you when this is over, you know."
"I know," Christian said, looking grim.