Kansas (Ruthless Kings MC Atlantic City #2) - K.L. Savage Page 0,83

the way you did. He’s always wondered about you and your mom.”

Before I know it, I’m in Carson’s space. “He doesn’t have a right to ask about my mom after what he did to her.”

“He knows that. I know that. I’m saying, he knows you are here. He has tried to keep up with you and ever since we moved here, you’re all he has talked about. He doesn’t deserve your kindness, but maybe…” he exhales “…maybe give it to him anyway? Be better than he was.”

I snort and tilt my head back, trying not to smile. “For a younger brother, you’re smarter than me. I don’t know how I feel about that.”

“I don’t believe that for a minute. You had the strength to leave him. When I found out, I didn’t. I know I seem like I’m rooting for him, and I’m by his side. I am, but I’m fucking mad at him, Amos. That hasn’t changed, only my actions have. See him and while you’re visiting him, maybe I can see Violet? See how she is? She’ll be okay, right?” His understanding and kindness make it that much harder to hate him.

“Yeah, I think so. I don’t know you too well, Carson. I’m not comfortable with you seeing her, especially in this condition. I’m sorry.”

“I get it. I’ll just wait in the waiting room.”

“But maybe another time? I just… this is all very new to me.”

“I understand. Give her my best, yeah?” he asks before walking away.

I haven’t even told her they are here. What the hell is wrong with me?

“Let’s get this over with,” I tell myself. All this is too awkward for me to handle. It’s like living in another dimension.

Room 356.

Here goes nothing.

I knock on the door as a wet cough fills the room. “Come in!” he shouts.

His words are barely understandable through the phlegm lodged in his throat. I make the biggest leap of my life and place my foot over the threshold. The room is nice and private. He doesn’t share it with anyone. The bed is in the middle on the opposite wall so he can look out to see the view of the ocean. The TV hangs in the corner playing the game show the ‘Price is Right’, and the hiss of oxygen can be heard over the cheers of the audience.

He hasn’t noticed me yet.

My god, he looks like hell. The years have not been kind to him. He looks ten years older than he really is. Dark spots and bruises cover his hands from the needle pricks, and he has dark circles under his eyes. He doesn’t have hair, bald as the day he was born, and he is thin.

When I imagined he had cancer, I still imagined the man that I held at gunpoint. I figured he was unbreakable.

Karma is a bitch.

Fuck, I’m going to hell.

My angry side is a real dick.

I’m finally deep enough into the room when he sees me out of his peripheral vision. The same hazel eyes that I have, that Carson has, that Stevie and Brighton have, stare at me like they have never seen me before.

“You lost?” he asks, not even recognizing me.

I knew this was a fucking mistake. I try to leave, I try to move my feet, but they are glued to the ground. I’m stuck in this stare-off, unable to speak a word. I’ve waited for this moment for years. I’ve run this conversation over a hundred times in my head. I’ve planned for this day.

There’s so much to say, and yet, I can’t speak a word of it.

“Amos?” he whispers when it finally hits him who I am. “Amos, is that you?” his eyes water, and a tear flows out of the corner of his eye. “My boy—”

“—No. You don’t get to call me that. You don’t get to call me your son.” My voice cracks, but I’m still able to speak in a deep, pissed-off tone through my teeth grinding together. “Don’t call me that. I’m not here for you. I’m here for me, and I’m here for the siblings that I don’t know, but I’m not here for you.”

“I deserve that.” He grabs a tissue from the nightstand and dabs it under his nose, then presses a button on the side of the bed that shuts off the TV. “I deserve that and more. I guess that’s why I have cancer, right? Karma’s a bitch.”

Shit. We even think alike. There’s something similar in this blood of