Just a Positive Pregnancy Test - London Casey Page 0,85
I like to work so much?”
I nodded. “Maybe I’ll fill out an application. I can be a nurse. Right?”
“Rock star nurse,” she said.
“Can I put you down as a reference?”
“Sure, Silas,” Anna said. She pulled at my arm. “Let’s go for a little walk and talk. Everything will be okay.”
“You said you weren’t going to say that,” I said.
“Yeah, I did.”
I just hoped it wasn’t a lie.
“I need to know everything, Anna,” I said. “Everything. I’ve never been through this before. I need to be there for my son. I need to be there for Mila.”
“I don’t want to scare you,” she said. “I’m not in the NICU. I don’t know what is going to happen.”
“That’s fine,” I said. “Just tell me…”
I sipped a bottle of water.
“Obviously the baby came early. The good news is that he wasn’t considered extremely early. But…”
“But he’s still way too early,” I said.
“Yes,” Anna said. “At this stage, there’s still a lot of risks, Silas. There are risks of infection. Low blood sugar. There’s a risk of hypothermia. That’s why he’s in the incubator right now. When babies are born too early, there can be other types of risks too. Physical kinds.”
“Meaning?”
“I don’t want to worry you, Silas.”
“Anna.”
She sighed. “There can be brain issues. Developmental issues with hearing, eyesight. There can be learning issues.”
“Learning issues? Like… school? Like years from now?”
“Just stay calm, Silas,” Anna said. “The thing I need you to remember here is that he will be taken care of. Not just today or while he’s in the NICU.”
“You’re saying this will, what, follow him?”
“I don’t want it to be like that. Like a bad thing. But, yes, it will be known he was born a little too early. Meaning if there ever is an issue, you and Mila and the doctors will be right on top of it.”
“Like what? Give me an example?”
“I can’t… I…”
“Anna, I need to know it all,” I said.
“He might have trouble walking. Or reading. Or maybe he’ll have ear infections too easily. I don’t know. At the same time he could grow up like you’d never know he was born premature. He’s going to look small, Silas. That’s okay. That doesn’t mean he’s going to grow up small or…” Anna sighed. “I shouldn’t even be saying any of this. You should talk to the doctors when they’re ready.”
“Hey,” I said. “I appreciate this. I mean it. I’m not going to hold anything against you. I’m not going to tell Mila either. I just need to know for myself. To prepare. Just in case.”
“That’s fine,” Anna said.
“And… I’m not looking at this in a bad way, okay? I’m not going to treat him different or… I mean…”
“Silas. You’re a good father. Already. Believe me.”
“I am?” I asked.
Anna smiled. She grabbed my hands. “Listen to me. This family is a mess. We all love each other, but we’re all crazy. I can go down the list of family members and name things, okay? You managed to stick around. You refused to back down. You fought Tyler. What you did for Mila with the house… believe me, that means so much to her. I remember when she wanted to sing. Nobody gave her chance to try. Except my Uncle Hank. When he died, the light in Mila’s eyes went out. Until she met you. I’m so sorry this happened with her pregnancy. I’m sure you both had so much you wanted to happen. But this is your new path now. You asking these questions just shows how much of a good father you are. You want to get yourself mentally ready so that if something happens, you can be strong for your son and my cousin. That’s… that’s just so amazing…”
“Hey, Anna?” I whispered.
“Yeah?”
“Did you ever think you’d have me alone in a room, holding my hands like this?”
Anna looked at her hands and gasped.
She opened her grip and stepped back, her face bright red.
“Sorry,” I said. “I had to say something. Just to lighten the mood.”
“You know I didn’t… I wasn’t grabbing…”
“I know, Anna,” I said. “Believe me, I know. And thank you for listening to my music. I think we’re pretty much family now. Feel free to ask me anything at any time about any song. I have plenty of old rock star stuff hanging around my other place if you want some memorabilia.”
“I think I’m a little too old for posters of you on my walls, Silas,” she said.