Just Like the Other Girls - Claire Douglas Page 0,82
seven months ago and, apart from the odd time when she was sure she could smell booze on him, she believed he’d kept his promise.
But now they’re back to where they started. She can feel it in her bones.
How did her son, her beautiful boy, end up this way? She’d given him all the things she’d never had until she went to live with Elspeth, and more besides: he had love. Pure, unconditional love. Not the kind of love with rules attached, like Kathryn felt Elspeth gave – still gives – her. She’d never told Elspeth of her troubles with Jacob. She knows what she’d say. She’d point the finger, accuse Kathryn’s biological mother, and say, in her posh, judgemental voice, that the apple never fell far from the tree.
She kneels on the floor next to Harry’s bed, smoothing his dark hair away from his sleeping face. Her, as yet, untarnished son. Why can’t she keep him like this for ever? Away from the disappointments and the heartaches, from finding out your parents aren’t as perfect as you’d always thought. And then she hears the front door slam and she rushes downstairs to see Ed, Jacob trailing behind him, a newspaper tucked under his arm.
Ed is smiling and ruffling Jacob’s hair. ‘I found this one walking back from the newsagent’s. He’d just gone to get a paper.’
Kathryn smiles tightly. She wants to believe it, she really does. She glances over the top of Ed’s head and meets her elder son’s eye. He doesn’t appear to be on anything: his pupils are normal-sized. She narrows her eyes at him anyway, a warning glare. He’s the first to look away, dipping his head as though trying to hide his guilt.
Later, she goes to him while he’s in his room.
‘You gave me a scare there,’ she admits, perching on the edge of his bed where he’s sprawled out, pretending to read a textbook. The soles of his socks are dirty.
‘I told you I’m not into that stuff any more. Why won’t you believe me?’ He tilts his chin. ‘I’m not lying to you, Mum. Okay? I woke up early and was bored. I went to get a newspaper. That’s all.’
She doesn’t want to point out that he never reads newspapers. Or wakes up early at the weekend. But she wraps these thoughts into neat little packages and places them in a box in her mind with all the other things she’s trying to avoid thinking about.
She lowers her voice. ‘I know it must be eating you up. It’s messing with my head and I’m a grown-up. I’m worried for you, Jake.’
His eyes flash. ‘You promised me,’ he hisses.
‘I know. And I’ll keep my promise. I’m your mother. But you have to keep yours too.’
30
Willow
I don’t know where to start. I’m not a detective and I’ve certainly never done any amateur sleuthing before. And I do feel a bit of an idiot lurking by door jambs, hoping to hear snippets of conversation between Kathryn and Elspeth. When Kathryn is here she’s always watching me, too, with those serious hazel eyes of hers. It’s obvious she doesn’t trust me. And since I’ve known the truth, I’ve been jittery around her. I’ve tried to be normal but the other day she came into the kitchen, surprising me, and I dropped one of Elspeth’s bone-china teacups. She unnerves me with her looming presence, her height and her frosty demeanour.
Courtney texts me most days asking if I have any information. I feel bad when I have to reply that I don’t.
And then, on Thursday, something unexpected happens.
Elspeth is feeling unwell and is laid up in bed, saying she’d like to rest. It’s unlike Elspeth. She’s usually up and about, shuffling around in a pair of elegant slippers, even if we don’t always go out. But today she says she’s got a migraine. She’s lying on top of her duvet, fully clothed, when I go to check on her. I offer to help her into her nightdress but she refuses, saying she’ll feel better and will be up later.
‘Shall I call a doctor?’ I ask, as I fuss around her, plumping up her pillows and setting a glass of water on her bedside table.
She brushes away my concern, saying the only thing for it is to rest in a dark room for a few hours. ‘Would you mind walking over to the gallery in the arcade and asking Kathryn for the books?’ she says.