I also remember freezing like a fool the day he played his guitar without a shirt on and staring so hard I almost drooled. I force myself to walk, to move my feet and get into the bed so I don’t make the same mistake again. I’m thankful the only light on is by my bedside table because I’m standing in the dark where he can’t see me blush. A part of me wants him, for more than sleep.
Zack leans on his side, watching me climb into bed. I feel like a middle schooler full of nerves at their first co-ed party when I get in and lay directly on my back. I turn to face him shyly.
“Come here.” He practically growls it out with a low voice. I wonder if it’s taking as much self-control for him, as it is for me to not do what I suddenly feel like doing. He slowly, gently pulls me to him so my head is resting on his chest. Our bodies fit perfectly together. I feel his sculpted muscles all along the front of my body and swallow deeply.
He chuckles softly as one hand plays with my hair. I lift my head so I can see more clearly.
“What’s so funny?”
“I’m in your bed, Nicole.” I look at him, confused. “I just can’t believe I’m here. I was so worried on the plane here today that you would make me leave. But you told me you love me. I have never been happier.” He leans down and lightly kisses my forehead. “Go to sleep, love.”
“I love you.” I lay my head back against his chest, feeling it rise and fall with every breath.
I’m almost a sleep not two seconds later when I hear him whisper the words back to me. “I love you too.”
***
I wake up in my bed alone. I rub my eyes trying to figure out if everything that happened was just a dream. But I smile when I roll over when I see the faint impression on the pillow next to me and the covers are wrinkled where Zack slept. I slept with Zack. I am filled with so much happiness at the thought of being with Zack I want to get up and dance across my room. I want to call Mia and squeal until her ear drums want to burst.
I want to get out of bed and go find the man who’s missing.
That is definitely a priority. I grab my robe from my closet and wrap it around my waist when the faint smell of coffee hits me. Wonderful, I think and smile to myself. He’s made me coffee.
I’m not prepared for the sight in front of me when I see Zack this morning. I don’t know what’s different. When I hit the kitchen, his back is to me, his arms braced against the countertop. His favorite ball cap is on backwards and he’s wearing the same jeans and t-shirt he wore yesterday. Did he even bring luggage with him? I smile when I realize he didn’t. The thought of him being so desperate to see me that he hopped on a plane as soon as he could - just to see me – gives me all sorts of really unexplainable, but wonderful emotions.
I wrap my arms around him when I reach him and breathe him in. He smells like soap and sleep and, just him. I love it.
“Good morning,” I whisper as I press my cheek in between his shoulder blades.
“Good morning to you. How’d you sleep?” He smiles when he turns around and returns my embrace.
“Hmmm…perfect.” This way is even better. Now I get to press my cheek against his chest which is just how I fell asleep last night. “Better than I have in who knows how long.”
“Me too.” He playfully tugs a lock of my hair and smiles. “I made you coffee.”
“You’re the best.” I walk over to the coffee pot and pour myself a cup, black. It’s the only way I can drink it. I don’t need my coffee sweet, I just need the liquid fuel it gives me to wake up. There’s a feeling of peace in the air. A calmness that wasn’t here before, even with Zack. I want to breathe it in and enjoy it for as long as I can.
We’re changing.
Well, I’m changing. I didn’t realize how hard yesterday was for me, but now I understand how necessary it was. Forgiving the Linscum’s and spilling