I jump a little bit when Garrett speaks and my hands freeze. We’ve been on the bus for about an hour and while it’s not late, I’m mentally exhausted. I’ve also been staring at my Kindle screen ever since I sat down on one of the couches. I haven’t turned a page the entire time because I’m still in shock over everything that has happened in the last few days. And not just the things, but the feelings I’m having.
There’s an intensity I feel between Zack and I that I can’t recall ever feeling before, not even with Mark. I keep trying to put my finger on exactly what it is, but I can’t.
It’s just….there.
Or at least for me, the intensity is there and I can only guess that Zack feels something similar. Otherwise, why else am I here? There’s obviously the physical attraction on my part, but the attraction goes beyond his emerald green eyes and the light brown hair that’s shaggy and messy but perfect at the exact same time. There has to be more to it than just that… right?
I look down at my hands that were tapping on the side table and then up at him with a matching smile.
“I can play some. It’s been awhile.” It’s actually been one year, three months, two weeks and three days, but I’m not counting anymore. I also play a bit more than some. But I’m not about to tell Garrett that I was classically trained for a dozen years and can play almost any song I hear after just listening it to once. What he just noticed was me tapping out one of my most favorite pieces I memorized. It’s by Debussy and not overly complicated, but it’s upbeat and quick and when I’m nervous my fingers just tend to play it without thinking. Some people tap pencils or their feet. My fingers play music.
He looks at me like he’s trying to figure out a missing puzzle piece. I suppose it has something to do with the fact I met Zack three days ago and now I’m on his tour bus. When he figures out the puzzle, and what it is Zack sees in me, I wonder if he’ll let me know.
I like Garrett, he’s laid back, much like Zack and Chase. I also like that he’s engaged. Zack told me Chloe will be meeting us in Chicago for the weekend and even though I don’t know her, I like the idea of having another girl around while I get used to being surrounded by all these guys all the time.
“I thought you didn’t like music.”
“Actually I said she doesn’t know who I am because she hasn’t listened to music for a while. If you’re going to repeat what I said. At least get it right.”
I turn my head and smile as Zack enters the room with his guitar slung across his back. He, along with Jake and Chase, have been trying to write some new music. My heart rate increases slightly. Seeing him here, in his element, leaves me completely awed. I can’t even help myself from thinking he has to be one of the most gorgeous men I have ever seen in my entire life. Because he is.
He totally is.
What I’m having a hard time currently wrapping my mind around, is why he told his band members anything about me, what did he tell them, and why is the fact that I actually find this guy totally attractive doesn’t feel like some betrayal to Mark?
It’s a lot to think about in the span of a few seconds.
“What else did you tell them?” I pointedly ask Zack who grabs a water bottle from the fridge and heads our way. He knows what I’m asking and I’m thankful when he shrugs his shoulders and looks straight at me.
“The rest is your story. It’s not my place to say anything.” And I know, by the way he drops his head just a bit, that he’s being one hundred percent completely honest.
I ignore the confused look on Garrett’s face and go back to staring blankly at my Kindle screen.
Once again my fingers are itching to tap out the Debussy piece I was playing earlier.
Fortunately, before my nerves can totally take over again, the rest of the band is up front, and we’re all sitting around playing poker. I’m pretty sure I earn a modicum of respect from Garrett and Jake when I