Just One Night Together (Flatiron Five Fitness #3) - Deborah Cooke Page 0,92

was exactly the kind of thing she would have liked to have talked to her dad about.

Her mom was too practical. She’d immediately list Haley’s options, weigh them, and make a recommendation. To Haley’s mom, the emotions that had put her in this situation would be less important than the result and the child’s prospects. Even without talking to her, Haley would expect her mom to advise her to give up the child for adoption. Her mom would argue her side then expect a decision, a rational one, within fifteen minutes.

Haley’s dad, though, would have listened to her. He would have wanted to know about Damon and why she’d dismissed her safe sex rule with him. He’d have wanted to know what she admired about him, and how she felt about this conception, and would have gently asked what she thought was the best solution. He might end up recommending the same course of action, but his method of arriving there would be totally different.

And Haley needed that discussion. She felt uncharacteristically uncertain. It wasn’t just hormones. She had mixed feelings about the job prospect in Illinois. It was a great opportunity and a dream come true in many ways. It sounded ideal. On the other hand, she liked the team at this hospital and felt at home in Queens. It was her space and her life, such as it was. No matter how she looked at it, joining the rest of her family felt like a surrender of her independence, or maybe even of her identity. Her mom was sure of Haley’s ultimate decision, but her mom’s conviction that Haley had very little to leave behind in New York rubbed the wrong way.

She didn’t like that Garrett had interfered at all in the process. It was a bit disconcerting to find that she didn’t admire him as much as she’d believed she had, and she certainly didn’t love him anymore. She felt as if the North Pole had suddenly moved.

If she took the job, it would be for the job.

Not long ago, that would have been a good enough reason.

Haley felt that Queens was home, even though it had only become home in the last decade. She certainly didn’t have deep connections in the neighborhood. She worked a lot. She had a rescue cat and an almost empty apartment.

But it was her life and that had to count for something.

She couldn’t bear the possibility of never catching a glimpse of Damon again. She knew she had to talk to him about the baby if there was one, but decided to duck the issue until she knew for sure. Taking the job in Illinois would eliminate any future possibilities with him. Even though Haley doubted they had any chance of a future, she didn’t want to make a final, irrevocable choice.

Maybe she was more of a romantic than she’d realized.

On Saturday morning, Haley rode the subway downtown and walked the last few blocks, like she always did, because she couldn’t bring herself to take the subway all the way into that station. It was a clear cold day and she was glad she’d wrapped the rose in clear plastic. It was in a plastic vial with water and still looked good.

A lump rose in her throat as she approached the memorial, just the way it always did, and she walked all the way around once, just the way she always did. She tipped her head back and looked up at the sky, where the towers used to be, then looked down into the darkest hole of the memorial where they had ended up. She swallowed and made her way down one side to the place she’d come to visit.

She remembered the names that meant she was getting close. She murmured them under her breath, then moved to walk closer to the edge. She took off her glove and trailed her fingertip along the cold lip of the memorial for the last ten feet.

And there it was.

Her father’s name, carved into the stone.

Every year, a part of her wished that she would find his name gone. She imagined that it could be like a movie, that she would discover a gap where his name had been, then turn around in shock, only to find her father behind her, watching. His arms would be folded across his chest; there’d be love shining in his eyes and a smile upon his lips. She’d cry out with joy and run to him and he’d