My mind is working one hundred to a dozen. Thoughts zap into my head and I can’t hold onto one of them for more than a moment. There are other people who can benefit from the win. There are endless worthy charities and individuals. Jake has agreed; we don’t need to keep it all. We shouldn’t. No one needs so much money but lots of people need some money. My line of work starkly highlights that. I work at the Citizen’s Advice Bureau. My job is to deliver easily accessible community advice. I’m a generalist, a sort of gatekeeper, who often simply takes notes and listens to walk-ins. I assess difficulties and point people in the right direction, towards a specialist: a lawyer, a doctor or counsellor. No problem is too big or too small to capture my attention. My average day might involve helping to stop payday lenders ruining lives or helping people fill out job applications. I am never bored at work. I enjoy the fact that I can’t guess who I’m going to meet or help on a day-to-day basis. On the whole, I like how varied my work is and I certainly like the fact I can help, but sometimes it depresses me that people’s vulnerabilities and needs are so far-reaching. Sometimes I come home from work exhausted, aware that no matter how many people I’ve met with and advised, I will never be able to help everyone or solve everything.
Still I can try. I do. Day after day. And now I’ll be able to do more.
I push the kids out the door, just in time to catch the school bus, grab my handbag and hurriedly shove my feet into my work shoes. I glance around the kitchen. It’s chaos as usual but I’m running late and haven’t even got time to stack the dishwasher; it will be waiting for me later. Then I notice Jake sitting at the breakfast bar, still in his pyjamas.
‘Why aren’t you dressed?’
‘I’m not going to work today. The meeting with the lottery people is at three o’clock. There’s no point.’
‘Well, I am.’
‘Apparently. Don’t you feel like playing hooky, even for a day?’ He smiles at me. His broad, charming smile that I’ve found irresistible more times than I can count. ‘We could go into London again, have lunch somewhere ridiculously swanky. Maybe the Shard? Nobu? There’s plenty of time,’ he coaxes.
I have to steel myself against the temptation he’s presenting. I should point out the flaw in his logic. If there isn’t enough time to go to work, how is there enough time to have a long lunch? I don’t. I just say, ‘I have meetings in my diary. I can’t let people down.’ I quickly kiss him on the lips. He pulls me close and draws out the kiss. Being wealthy is obviously making him feel very randy. I giggle and gently move away, walk towards the door. ‘Hey, I’ve been thinking, when we talk to the advisor today, maybe she could give us some advice on how to choose which charities to donate to. You know, really get an understanding of which ones put money to work and which simply spend a fortune on advertising and their CEOs’ salaries.’
‘Yes, sounds like a plan.’ Jake smiles affably.
‘Because I was thinking, we can pay off our mortgage and then put some away for the kids. Let’s say we keep two point eight million and then give the rest away.’
‘What?’ Jake barks out a fake laugh. ‘Hilarious.’
I freeze. ‘I’m serious.’
‘We’d quickly get through that amount. It would go nowhere.’
‘The kids bought everything they wanted in Topshop yesterday. Some of it didn’t even fit properly, let alone suit them.’
I was a bit startled with how greedily Emily and Logan had behaved. I understand, of course, they are teens in Topshop, the equivalent to kids in a sweetshop. They were bound to get carried away. Being greedy is the normal reaction to a lottery win. Most people would think I am the one acting strangely by still thinking of purchasing items in terms of what we need. Jake and the kids have quickly swapped to only thinking about what they want. But regardless, even during their high-octane retail frenzy, they spent less than a thousand pounds each. Admittedly, way more than we’ve ever spent in one go on clothes before, but only a tiny fraction of what we’ve just won. I can’t imagine how we would use it all.