Judge Me Not - Maggie Cole Page 0,1

of January."

"They can't do it sooner?"

"No. The board only approved it last night. But as long as you keep Abby home and her immune system up, I expect her not to have any issues starting the treatment."

New tears of relief fall. "Thank you, Doctor."

He hesitates.

I've seen his worried eyes enough to know something is wrong. My gut drops. "What is it?"

"This is considered a new treatment. Your insurance doesn't cover it, nor does anyone else's. I don't expect it to change anytime soon. And the hospital won't allow anyone to have it who isn't paying cash."

The hairs on the back of my neck stand up. "How much?"

"She's going to need between ten and twelve rounds. Each round is fifty thousand dollars."

"Fifty thousand dollars," Cee Cee cries out.

My mouth hangs open. "I don't have enough for one treatment, much less the rest of them."

Dr. Plax nods. "I assumed, so I spoke with our foundation. They will cover half the cost of each treatment. They are not able to do anything more. I pushed as much as I could."

Twenty-five thousand dollars a treatment times ten.

Two-hundred and fifty thousand dollars.

Oh my God.

I put my hand over my face, wishing I could stop the tears. I'm drowning in over a million dollars of unpaid medical bills already. Debt collectors call me all day long.

Cee Cee puts her arm around me. "Is there anything else we need to know about the treatment?"

Dr. Plax's voice is sympathetic. "No. Here is the packet of information about the treatment."

I take a deep breath and remove my hand. "Other children need this treatment?"

"Yes."

"Is it like the other ones? If we don't do it now, we'll be on a list, and there will be no guarantee if we can get it?"

"I'm sorry, but yes. There are limited quantities of the medication available. Only eight children will receive it, and we currently have twenty-two who need it."

"When do we need to decide?" Cee Cee asks.

He points to the packet he gave Cee Cee. "The hospital requires the first five-thousand-dollar deposit to be paid by next week to secure your first treatment. The subsequent payments are listed in the folder."

Where am I going to get five-thousand dollars by next week?

There's still twenty after, and it's only for one treatment.

Everything about this meeting is cruel. It's like taking a person who has barely any hope left, telling them they can save the person who means the most to them in life, then taking that hope away.

I'm her mother. Whatever I have to do to save her life, I will do.

But what options do I even have?

Cee Cee and I shake Dr. Plax's hand and leave. I read the information in the packet on the subway. I get to the last page and stare at the scheduled fees and dates they would be due.

"How am I going to do this?" I barely manage to say.

"We'll find a way. I'll sell my kidney if I have to."

A little laugh escapes me, but Cee Cee and I would both do it if it were an option. We're desperate to heal my baby girl. But desperation doesn't solve problems, especially when unfathomable amounts of money are surrounding them.

When we get home, we both lather ourselves in hand sanitizer before we go inside the house. Cee Cee and her teenage daughter, Maribel, moved in with me so we had more funds for Abby's treatment. Maribel is sixteen and babysits whenever we meet with the doctor.

"Mommy!" Abby's face lights up, and she jumps into my arms.

I hug her as tight as I can. "Hey, sweetie. Did you have fun?"

"Yes. Maribel let me put on the new lip gloss. Look."

She pulls out of my embrace and bats her hazel eyes, which are full of excitement. She is wearing the pink hat I knitted for her, which seems to be her favorite right now. Her eyelashes and eyebrows, along with her hair, haven't grown back from the last treatment she went through. Her skin is starting to regain color since she's between treatments though. The beautiful mix of her father's Italian genes and my mulatto ones normally gives her a healthy glow. She puckers her shiny, light-pink lips.

"Great color on you! But I need another hug," I tell her.

She jumps back into my arms, and I hold her until she wiggles out and goes back to playing with Maribel.

The longer I watch her play, the more I tell myself that no matter what I have to do to come up with