the mountains, making Angela grateful that Simon had asked her to change into pants, a jacket, and closed-toe shoes before coming outside.
“Ready?” Simon’s steady voice floated from behind.
“I think so.”
“Here we go.” He launched them and started paddling, his strokes strong and sure.
She joined, attempting to match his paddle movements. They didn’t speak for several minutes as they drew the boat away from the shore. The house disappeared from view, as did Wanaka, and other than the occasional zooming boat or squawking bird, it was quiet out there on the water. As the sun dipped lower in the sky, it cast orange and pink shadows along the craggy cliffs lining the lake. Trees waved a quick hello and goodbye as Simon and Angela passed, whispering well wishes as a breeze rustled their branches. Reflections of the Southern Alps, their lacy white tips twinkling, appeared along the rippled face of the lake.
“What do you think?” Simon stopped paddling for a moment.
Angela followed suit, resting her paddle along the ridge of the kayak. “I don’t think even you could conjure up adequate words to describe the beauty we’re seeing.”
“Agreed. I’m not that talented.”
“You are talented.” In fact, the piece he’d written about Eva and Angela and their quest to run the ultra-marathon for their husbands had nearly brought her to tears—not an easy feat, considering she hadn’t cried in so long. “But there’s something about this place that moves my spirit. And you’re right. It’s a different way to see New Zealand. Even though we’ve been here for two months, I haven’t felt quite like this before.”
“Look who’s waxing poetic now.” Simon’s teasing tone made her wish she could turn around and see his eyes. Probably better that she couldn’t. Surrounded by this much beauty and this much peace . . . yes. Definitely better.
Maybe it was time to return home. “Should we be heading back soon?”
“I’d planned to stop at a beach just a bit farther up the lake. What do you think?”
“I guess so.” As long as she could get out and stretch, clear her head. “Will we be able to find our way back since it’ll be dark soon?”
“Absolutely. I know this lake well. If you feel nervous, though, we can turn around right now.”
“No. I trust you.” And she did. If that wasn’t evidence of some deeper change in her, nothing was.
They resumed paddling, and Simon pointed them toward a beach tucked away in a small cove surrounded by greenery. As they pulled closer, Simon climbed from the kayak and pushed the boat onto the shore, then helped Angela out.
They were alone on the beach. The sun had fully sunk behind the mountains, and stars popped along the upper reaches of the sky, which was layered with stripes of ever-deepening blues until it turned utterly black at the highest point above them.
Simon unclipped a yellow waterproofed bag from the kayak and snagged a blanket from inside. “I thought we could look at the stars for a bit.”
“Great.” Great? No, it wasn’t. Sitting or lying on a blanket next to Simon was a very bad idea—especially if she was going to be honest about the fact she couldn’t have a relationship with him. And he deserved to know.
She followed him to a spot not too far away, where he spread the blanket and sat, strong arms wrapped around his knees, one hand casually gripping the other. After a moment of hesitation, Angela lowered herself next to him. The blanket was smaller than it appeared, so she couldn’t sit without their arms touching. Together they rested, watching the lake, listening to the birds warbling.
“If you look up, you can see Sirius.” Simon lifted his finger. “It’s the brightest star in the sky.”
Angela had to crane her neck, leaning closer to him to follow his line of sight. “I see it.”
“I don’t want to scare you off, but I can’t go another day without telling you . . . you’re quickly becoming that in my life, Angela. My Sirius. My bright star.”
Her eyes squeezed close. Courage. I need courage to tell Simon the truth.
“I can’t be with you.” The words tumbled over themselves, as ungraceful as Angela herself. “But it’s not you, it’s me. I’m the problem.”
Silence.
She opened her eyes and twisted so she could look at Simon. Mistake. His eyebrows knit together, his deep eyes quizzical, mouth flattened, tiny wrinkles at the corners.
Angela hurried on. “I’m just not sure how to be in a new relationship with all of the