Join the Club - Lani Lynn Vale Page 0,70

words.

But she was nowhere to be seen.

I could hear her, though.

She was loud, and I hoped that she never tried to sneak away because she’d fail.

Heading in the direction of curses and crunching leaves, I found her about a half a mile into the woods, standing at the side of the creek, staring into nothing.

She looked at me over her shoulder and smiled tremulously.

“I don’t know where to cross,” she glared.

I jerked my chin in the direction of a tree I used to cross.

“I usually cross there,” I pointed out.

She walked to it and started to climb her way onto it, and my heart skipped a beat.

Her feet went unsteady for a second, and she was halfway across when she started to tip over the side. Without even intending to follow her, I was on the log and pulling her into my body before I’d even had a chance to realize I wanted to move.

I blew out a shaky breath when she was plastered against me.

“It was only water,” she pointed out, her voice breathless.

“Yeah,” I said. “Tell my heart that.”

She relaxed against me, then her legs seemed to give out, and she started to cry.

“I don’t want you to go.”

That’s when I felt like a complete and total heel.

I should’ve told her about what I wanted to do.

None of this should’ve been done without talking to her first.

I was a complete and utter dumbass.

“I was drunk,” I admitted. “When you didn’t call last night… I shut my phone off and went to a bar.”

She stayed silent as I told her about what I did last night, not saying a word until I was done.

“Do you want to do this?” she wondered.

Exhilaration poured through me.

“More than anything,” I admitted. “I’ve wanted to be in the Air Force Special Ops since as long as I can remember. One of my mom’s brothers had a friend. He came in once a year to visit with Banks. And he was SOF—Special Operations Forces—and God, I was so enthralled with his stories. I wanted to be him so bad. He was like this goal that I had for myself. Then I broke my freakin’ foot. Had to have surgery on it… then…”

“Then Booth asked you to stay with me,” she said softly. “With Asa. And you put your life, and your dream, on hold.”

Yeah.

Yeah, I had.

“Worth it,” I admitted. “So fuckin’ worth it. That was something that I couldn’t pass up. God, those years with you and Asa? Watching him grow, helping you, it was a special privilege that I’d do over and over again.”

“But you always wanted to be in the Air Force, and last night when I hurt you, caused you pain, you realized that you wanted more to life than just this,” she guessed.

“Maybe,” I admitted. “I don’t know. But I at least had enough forethought not to sign up for the full deal. Other than a couple weekends a month, and a few weeks in the summer, I’ll likely never be in it more than that. The likelihood of ever needing to do anything more than that is slim to none. The recruiter was pretty blunt about that. If I wanted to be more than just a glorified part-time thing, then I needed to sign up for the real thing. But something in me told me that would be a bad idea. Regardless of wanting to be in the military, I do have a great life here. I have a fantastic job doing something that I really love.”

She turned in my arms.

“I want you to be Asa’s stepdad. I don’t want to take that away from you. I want you to continue to be in Asa’s life exactly how you have been.” she said. “Hell, I’d want you to be more, but I’m pretty sure that would break Booth’s heart.”

I smoothed my hand down over her hair, tucking it behind her ear.

“Booth deserves Asa,” I said. “One day, though, we’ll have some of our own, and when that day comes, I’ll get to be the dad I’ve always wanted to be.” I paused. “But I do want Asa to have me when and if he ever needs me.”

“I was an asshole,” she said. “I feel terrible.”

“You were scared,” I said, my eyes studying hers. “And your dad knew just what to say to get you that way. We all say some stuff that we don’t mean sometimes.”

“You didn’t,” she said. “Despite all the words I hurled in your direction, you