As Anwyn slowly surfaced from the dream, her thighs were trembling, damp, telling her that she"d climaxed. Reaching behind her, she slid her hand down Gideon"s rib cage and over the curve of his bare buttock, his thigh tucked up beneath hers. Listened to his even breathing. The third member of their uncertain triangle, he"d come five years later, to her present, whereas Daegan was currently absent, a hole in her heart she was glad she had Gideon to assuage.
He cinched his arm around her waist more securely, pressed his face in her hair, reminding her he was there, his heat and strength behind her. While she liked the tactile reminder, she didn"t need to have it to feel his presence. Ever since she"d third-marked him, he was in her very soul, and she wanted him there. At a moment like this, she almost felt balanced, for Daegan"s presence from the dream was still so close it felt as if he were in front of her, Gideon behind.
She"d hold on to the peace the temporary illusion gave her in sleeping hours, because peace was a far more rare commodity when she faced the reality of what she"d become. A vampire, turned against her will, infected by a schizophrenic sire with unpredictable seizures and dangerous surges of bloodlust. A vampire who might never have full control of her life again, who was dependent on a vampire hunter who"d become her third-marked servant by accident, and a powerful vampire she blamed for not being there when she"d needed him.
At least when she met Daegan in her dreams, she didn"t carry the burden of his betrayal. The thousand small angers that had culminated in his leaving. In her dreams, she was allowed to simply miss him, and wish he"d come back. The insidious shadow creatures in her brain that sometimes followed her into her dreams had no power when he was there, which made his presence all the more welcome.
Every waking moment required her to accept her deepest fear. Her control, cultivated carefully over a lifetime, could now be scattered like bowling pins. The schizophrenic mood shifts brought rages, delusions and hungers. They swamped her systems and turned her into a force of destruction. Such episodes could come at any time. Some days it was every few hours.
Occasionally she had the peace of a full day without one.
The fledgling bloodlust was a whole different ballgame from the seizures. The seizures were a physical ravagement of her systems, a mind-shrieking session of crazy, murderous madness.
With bloodlust, she would have what she wanted, and anything that stood in her way was fair game. Now that Gideon was a third-mark servant, she had less fear of harming him irreparably, but she was grateful she"d fallen in with a male who"d lived so much of his life as a warrior. In her sensible moments, she was able to appreciate the complex choreography of defense and offense strategies that came so naturally to him. When Daegan was here, they"d coordinated their movements to help distract or restrain her, anticipate which direction her violence would strike and contain it before it happened.
I want you, no matter what you are. I always will. Never doubt it.
Daegan had said those words to her before he left. She remembered the touch of his long-fingered, large hands, the sensual, firm mouth. The unending strength of his body, surging into hers. She remembered his many expressions, the dangerous smile that always felt like a special gift for her. He hadn"t smiled much, the days before he"d left, but there"d been less cause, for all of them.
In his absence, with Gideon here, she"d realized she didn"t want to have it back the way it was. She wanted something better for them, for all three of them. Gideon was the missing piece that could make it work, mingling the past, present and future in a way that gave her hope in her dreams.
Unfortunately, Gideon was resolved that he was merely a temporary measure until she found a “real” servant. In fact, that resolve had grown steadily stronger. Since she had full access to his mind, there was no hiding from the harsh truth. The vampire hunter, who had become more dedicated and intuitive to her well-being every day for the past month, had no intention of being any vampire"s permanent servant.
Ever.
ely, Gideon was resolved that he was merely a temporary measure until she found a “real” servant. In fact, that resolve had grown steadily stronger. Since she had full access to his mind, there was no hiding from the harsh truth. The vampire hunter, who had become more dedicated and intuitive to her well-being every day for the past month, had no intention of being any vampire"s permanent servant.
Ever.
1
One month earlier
DAEGAN had explained it was vital he get to the Council, that he was past due to report to them face-to-face on the events of the past couple of weeks. She understood that logically, but once Brian arrived, Daegan took his leave almost as soon as he discussed her condition with the vampire scientist and ensured he understood the role Daegan needed him to fill. Use his scientific skills to determine if there were ways to get the debilitating seizures and convulsions that didn"t fit with a normal vampire transition under control, and use his strength as a vampire to help Gideon when she had those seizures, so she didn"t cause harm to anyone, including herself.