of rushing water, bird calls, and the roaring wind. I fall and fall; it’s a smooth weightless plummet. And yet, I could swear I’m flying.
And then, it’s over. I bounce a few times as the cord loses velocity. I stretch my arms wide, letting the breeze rush through my splayed fingers, as I take in the swaying palm trees, the lazy lapping river, and the seemingly endless stretch of stone that I’ll remember as the place of my rebirth.
I close my eyes on the way up and savor the exhilarating fullness of triumph. I’ve only had a glimpse of the glory waiting for me on the other side of my fear, and I’m already ravenous for more. The rush of pure adrenaline is instantly addicting. I want to do this all day so I can hold onto the euphoria and pride, I’m feeling. Stone was right. If I can do this, I can do anything. Including divorcing my terrible husband.
The sample-sized bites of happiness I’ve survived on won’t satisfy this new hunger.
I want everything.
Now.
Starting with Stone.
The instructors pull me back on to the gondola and give me a round of high fives as I crest the opening. Two of the crew members help me climb back on and for a minute, I just sit, catching my breath.
“Come on, let’s get that off,” Stone’s big hand cup my elbows and he helps me to my feet. As soon as my legs touch the glass bottom gondola surface, they tremble and send me swaying. Stone’s grip tightens on my arm and holds me steady. “Woah, got you,” he murmurs in my ear. One of the guides drops to his knees and starts to loosen my harness and Stone and I exchange a grin.
“You made that look easy. And I know it’s not. I’ve done this twice before, and it gets easier. But my first time I almost bailed. And it wasn’t anything as badass as jumping from a gondola. You were afraid and you did it anyway.” He strokes my arms with his thumbs, his eyes telling me before he mouths. “Proud of you, Regan.”
My smile, so wide my cheeks hurt, it’s the highest praise anyone could give me. “Me, too,” is all I can manage. I’m tongue tied under the weight of his praise and don’t know what to say.
But when he asks, “How do you feel?”
I find my voice instantly. “Transformed.”
Jealous
Stone
“Come dance with me, Stone,” Regan calls from the dance floor, her smile brighter than all of the oil lamps burning around our camp.
“No, go ahead. I like watching,” I force a grin and she pouts. I hold the smile in place until one in the seemingly endless stream of geriatric men who are our fellow campers grabs her by the waist and whirls her around to her irritating shriek of delight.
I force myself to watch him, twirl and fucking dip her. It’s punishment and conditioning exercise all at once.
I thought I was doing her a favor today.
I thought it would be fun to coax her into my bed tonight. That I’d had this wild fantasy with the woman of my dreams and go back to life as I knew it.
Then, I jumped off that gondola.
As I’ve done every time I’ve bungeed, I focused on one thing I want more than anything else as I stood at the ledge. The thing that I’m going to never take for granted again if I survive. Because, no matter what I said to Regan, I know that anything could happen. Not just here, but anywhere. I’ve seen babies go from looking perfectly healthy to being dead in minutes. I don’t take anything for granted.
The first time I bungeed I thought of my brothers. I’d been slacking on calling them regularly and vowed to remedy that. The second time, it was my fellowship.
Today, I expected my thoughts to be focused on the job I’m waiting to get a confirmed start date for. This wasn’t just the culmination of years of sacrifice and hard work. This job, and the prestige attached to it, will also go a long way to proving myself worthy of my stepfather's priceless gift – the last name he gave us when he adopted Dare, Beau, and me. He also left us each a small fortune in annuitized trusts and college tuition funds.
I’ve only touched that money to pay for school and to put a roof over my head. But until I could be a credit to his name, I lived