The Jezebel - Dylan Allen Page 0,115

as I bend down to pick up the piece of paper that fell. I unfold it and start reading.

Regan,

I’ve been writing you these letters since I heard the news about your grandfather. I didn’t intend to mail them. And then, I found this book - with the inscription I wrote when I was ten years old. I wanted you to have it then. And I want you to have it now, just as you have my heart.

I know you’re not in a place for more than friendship. But I want to at least be that. So, when you’re ready, write to me, call me, send a smoke signal…wherever you are, I’ll find a way to answer. Because, as Ralph Waldo Emerson said… “The only way to have a friend is to be one.”

In the meantime, here are the letters I wrote you. Read them in order the first time.

Love,

Stone.

I read it ten times before I put it down. He couldn’t have known that this is exactly what I needed. Or that today would be the day I’d be open to receiving this. But like every other time this man has entered my life, his timing has been uncanny.

I untie the ribbon and start with the next one.

Dear Venus,

Last night, I drank enough to forget my own name. But I can’t forget yours. I can’t stop thinking about you. You asked for distance, and I’ve given it to you, even when it’s killed me to do so. So, these letters are my entreaty, my fair lady. I will write you, and one day, I’ll have the nerve to send them. Until then, I want you to meet me where the gods gather to make love…and we’ll build our world there.

Yours,

Mars

Oh my God. I am undone. I keep reading. My heart feels like it’s been hooked to a source of electricity and is humming in my chest.

Dear Venus,

You're my most beautiful someone.

Yours,

Mars

Dear Venus,

I had a revelation as I lay awake missing you, reveling in the way it hurts…because that pain means that my heart works. Sometimes life puts you in touch with the people you need to meet – to help you, to hurt you, to leave you, to love you, and to gradually strengthen you into the person you were meant to become.

Yours,

Mars

Dear Venus,

Don’t let anyone tell you that your dreams are too big.

They don’t have your vision.

They can’t see what you see.

Your belief in them, and yourself, is all you need.

Yours,

Mars

Dear Venus,

You can’t make an omelet without breaking some eggs. It’s such an asinine saying. Surely, the eggs aren’t glad to be scrambled and cooked before some asshole eats them? So why do people say that instead of saying…nothing good comes easy? Isn’t that clearer and truer? I make a great omelet, by the way. They’d be awesome with your lemon ginger scones.

Yours,

Mars

Dear Venus,

Today, I just miss the hell out of you,

Yours,

Mars

Dear Venus,

If you aren’t already mine, why am I so afraid to lose you?

Tell me…

Yours,

Mars

Dear Venus.

I’ve found that my heart was stretched by its experience with you. Now, it won’t go back to its old shape. Can you help?

I miss you,

Mars.

By the time I’m done, I can barely breathe for the happiness that’s swelled inside of me.

If the last three months have been a trial, this feels like a reward. Yes, my life, as I knew it, is completely broken. But I have all the tools I need to reshape it.

I put his letters away and email my lawyer, asking for his first available appointment.

When that’s done, I pull out my stationary and write Stone back.

A Surprise Dollop of Cream

Stone

I rush inside and tear the letter open, my heart damn near in my mouth by the time I’ve opened it.

Dear Mars,

You are spectacular beyond measure or compare. Your letters were like a surprise dollop of cream in the center of an already very delicious lemon ginger scone.

Until we can have that omelet…I would love to take you up on your offer of friendship. I’ve missed you. And have so much to tell you. If you agree, call me - 713-779-5555.

Yours,

Venus

I’d like to take the word friendship, stick it in a self-destructing rocket and launch it to the moon. But it’s better than nothing, and it’s a start. And, damn, if I don’t miss her, too.

I pick up the phone and call her.

“Hello?” Her voice is husky with sleep, and it’s the most beautiful thing I’ve heard in a long time.

“Goddess, it’s me.”

There’s silence for a beat, and then I

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