sought mine, though I averted both face and gaze. He smiled; and I thought his smile was such as a sultan might, in a blissful and fond moment, bestow on a slave his gold and gems had enriched: I crushed his hand, which was ever hunting mine, vigorously, and thrust it back to him red with the passionate pressure.
‘You need not look in that way,’ I said; ‘if you do, I’ll wear nothing but my old Lowood frocks to the end of the chapter. I’ll be married in this lilac gingham: you may make a dressing-gown for yourself out of the pearl-gray silk, and an infinite series of waistcoats out of the black satin.’
He chuckled; he rubbed his hands. ‘Oh, it is rich to see and hear her!’ he exclaimed. ‘Is she original? Is she piquant? I would not exchange this one little English girl for the Grand Turk’s whole seraglio – gazelle-eyes, houri forms,15 and all!’
The Eastern allusion bit me again. ‘I’ll not stand you an inch in the stead of a seraglio,’ I said; ‘so don’t consider me an equivalent for one. If you have a fancy for anything in that line, away with you, sir, to the bazaars of Stamboul16 without delay, and lay out in extensive slave-purchases some of that spare cash you seem at a loss to spend satisfactorily here.’
‘And what will you do, Janet, while I am bargaining for so many tons of flesh and such an assortment of black eyes?’
‘I’ll be preparing myself to go out as a missionary to preach liberty to them that are enslaved – your harem inmates amongst the rest. I’ll get admitted there, and I’ll stir up mutiny; and you, three-tailed bashaw17 as you are, sir, shall in a trice find yourself fettered amongst our hands: nor will I, for one, consent to cut your bonds till you have signed a charter, the most liberal that despot ever yet conferred.’
‘I would consent to be at your mercy, Jane.’
‘I would have no mercy, Mr Rochester, if you supplicated for it with an eye like that. While you look so, I should be certain that whatever charter you might grant under coercion, your first act, when released, would be to violate its conditions.’
‘Why, Jane, what would you have? I fear you will compel me to go through a private marriage ceremony,18 besides that performed at the altar. You will stipulate, I see, for peculiar terms – what will they be?’
‘I only want an easy mind, sir; not crushed by crowded obligations. Do you remember what you said of Céline Varens? – of the diamonds, the cashmeres you gave her? I will not be your English Céline Varens. I shall continue to act as Adèle’s governess; by that I shall earn my board and lodging, and thirty pounds a year besides. I’ll furnish my own wardrobe out of that money, and you shall give me nothing but—’
‘Well, but what?’
‘Your regard; and if I give you mine in return, that debt will be quit.’
‘Well, for cool native impudence and pure innate pride, you haven’t your equal,’ said he. We were now approaching Thornfield. ‘Will it please you to dine with me to-day?’ he asked, as we re-entered the gates.
‘No, thank you, sir.’
‘And what for, “no, thank you,” if one may inquire?’
‘I never have dined with you, sir: and I see no reason why I should now: till—’
‘Till what? You delight in half-phrases.’
‘Till I can’t help it.’
‘Do you suppose I eat like an ogre or a ghoul,19 that you dread being the companion of my repast?’
‘I have formed no supposition on the subject, sir; but I want to go on as usual for another month.’
‘You will give up your governessing slavery at once.’
‘Indeed, begging your pardon, sir, I shall not. I shall just go on with it as usual. I shall keep out of your way all day, as I have been accustomed to do: you may send for me in the evening, when you feel disposed to see me, and I’ll come then; but at no other time.’
‘I want a smoke, Jane, or a pinch of snuff, to comfort me under all this, “pour me donner une contenance,”20 as Adèle would say; and unfortunately I have neither my cigar-case, nor my snuff-box. But listen – whisper. It is your time now, little tyrant, but it will be mine presently; and when once I have fairly seized you, to have and to hold, I’ll just – figuratively speaking – attach you to a