Jameson (In the Company of Snipers #22) - Irish Winters Page 0,100
he was making a fool of himself. Maddie needed to know. “I don’t want to go through life without you. I probably sound like a stalker, but I’m not letting you go. I want every last breath I breathe and every step I take to be with you by my side. I’m willing to wait as long as you need. Mom’s still expecting us for dinner this Sunday. I told her before I didn’t think we could make it, but we can now. If you’ll go with me.”
“Can I still leave if I want to?”
He swallowed hard, but asked, “You mean from Mom and Dad’s place? Sure. We don’t have to go if you’d rather not.”
“I meant from here. Your apartment. If we get married, can I still l-leave?”
Ah, she was doing it again. Pulling back into her timid shell. It took all he had to tell her, “You can leave anytime, babe. Any day. You’ll have your own key. If you choose to marry me, this’ll be your home, not your dungeon.” It’ll break my heart, but if you want to leave me—
“I mean, I’ll still need to work and buy groceries and clothes, stuff like that. Not leave, leave. Just...” Her shoulders lifted. Her hips wiggled. “Just do what I want, when I want, then come home. You wouldn’t lock me out if I was late or if I missed my bus, would you?”
God, she was asking for permission to be a human being. He dropped his head to her shoulder, understanding her ex and her father a little better, and liking them less and less. Both bastards had instilled fear into this delightful, charming, but oh, so timid woman, enough that she’d misunderstood a simple proposal.
“Maddie, sweetheart,” he breathed, his damned eyeballs watering again. “I’m not the boss of you, and there are no rules to falling in love with me. Only give and take. Only total freedom. Lovers are meant to fly together, not drag each other down or hold each other back. Men don’t own women in this country. You can move out of state if you decide you want to leave. Do anything, be anything you choose. I just hoped you’d want to be all that with me.”
“Why would I do that? Leave you?” she asked, her voice tiny, as her palms settled flat to his cheeks, her thumbs under his chin, forcing his head back up.
She was looking at him. He could tell. Seeing the teary eyes he knew were blank and would forevermore be unreceptive to light or expression. Eyes that could never again convey what was in his soul. Yet he sensed no rejection or pity coming from Maddie. Only love when she planted her lush, warm lips on his mouth and what was left of his battered heart.
“Does that mean you’ll stay?” he had to ask.
“Yes, Jameson, I want the same thing as you. Can I live here with you while we’re engaged?”
“You can stay as long as you want.”
“Forever?”
Hallelujah! “And the day after,” he breathed, so damned happy. “And every day after that.”
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Amazed at the size of the bonus check that hit his bank account simply for joining The TEAM, Jameson took Maddie house-hunting. It was a week after she’d moved in with him, but his apartment was small, built for a single person. They needed room to play and love and grow together.
But first, he’d insisted they update the twelve-year-old budget sedan she’d bought after she’d graduated night school. His treat. He couldn’t wipe the smile off his face when she climbed behind the wheel of her very own sapphire-blue, fresh off the truck SUV and squealed, “Are you sure we can afford this?”
“We…” he purred, loving that grounding, delightful, two-letter word, “can afford low interest and a five-year loan.”
“Oh, yeah,” she giggled. “Us and the bank, huh?”
He tugged the seatbelt across his chest and fastened himself in. Maddie had been like a kid in a candy store on the car lot. For every practical, cheaper, older model she’d selected, he’d upped the options until he knew for certain he was spoiling her. She’d declined every option, saying she didn’t need all-wheel drive, nine speed automatic transmission, or a 3.5-liter V6 engine. But he got them for her all the same. The only thing this woman asked for was the ability to charge her cell phone. She had all that and more now, including a new wireless charger for the cell he had yet to buy her.