Jaded (Rock Star Trilogy) - By Mercy Amare Page 0,48

word that comes to mind, and that's chaos.” I say honestly. “I remember one week I had six performances, three TV interviews, and four radio interviews in seven different states. I didn't sleep much that week. I practically lived on Red Bull, and whatever food I could eat on the drive to and from wherever I was going.”

“Is it always like that?”

I shake my head. “No, but it feels like that a lot. But, honestly, I miss it. It was a crazy life, but I wouldn't of had it any other way.”

“I know you haven't decided what you want for sure yet, but I think you should go back out there. You belong on stage. The spotlight follows you,” he says, pointing at the table next to us. A girl is taking a picture of me with her cell phone.

“I don't even notice anymore.” It's the truth. “After four years, I have learned to completely ignore it.”

“You know, Ethan Googled me a few days ago, and he found hundreds pictures of you and me together. He even found one of us kissing.”

I laugh. “I stopped Googling myself long ago.”

“It's kind of crazy.”

“Crazy is fun sometimes.”

I know that once I graduate high school, I will go back to making music. But, I also know it's going to be my music from now on. And I really think it's Stephan who has helped me see... It doesn't have to be one way or the other. I can be me, and still do what I love. I just have to fire my dad to do it.

After dinner, we decide to take a romantic walk on the beach... Though Stephan is stubborn, and possibly the most sarcastic guy I have ever met, he has these amazing moments where he's so sweet and thoughtful. Like right now. He's holding my hand, as we walk. Neither of us are saying a word, but we don't have to. The moment is so serene, and if I had the power to stop time, I would at this exact moment because everything is perfect.

“Scarlett?” Stephan is the one to break the silence.

“Yeah.”

“I really like you,” he says. It's simple, but the words are exactly what I need to hear. I can't help but smile.

“I really like you, too.”

“I've also fantasized my whole life about having sex on the beach.” And just like that, Stephan is back.

I playfully hit his arm. “I'm not taking the chance of getting caught. Couldn't you see the news tomorrow? Scarlett caught having sex on a public beach.”

“I was kidding, Scar.” His voice is very serious as he says it, and I know that he's telling the truth.

“Oh.” I paused. “So, I was wondering... What was your childhood like?”

“It was actually awesome. My dad was amazing. He always took me to baseball games, theme parks, and spoiled me rotten. He always made time for me. Mom was a lot different before he died as well. She was happier. We really had the perfect life.” He shakes his head sadly. “Looking back, I don't know how he did it. How could he hide his affair from both of us? Shouldn't there have been clues? But, there wasn't, Scar. He was so perfect.”

“Have you forgiven him?” I ask.

“Not yet,” he answers. “Someday I will, but not now. I can't.”

“I'm really sorry about what happened, Stephan. You and your mom didn't deserve that. Neither did Mona and her dad. I don't understand how they could have done that to you.” I feel overwhelmingly sad just thinking about the tragic situation.

“But, if you can find it in your heart to forgive your sister Stacy, I should find it in my heart to forgive him, you know?”

“I haven't forgiven her yet,” I respond, biting my lip.

“You will, though. I know you. You're too good to hold a grudge.” He stops and looks me in the eyes. “I love how you view the world. I've never met somebody so insightful. Sometimes I have a hard time believing you're only nineteen.”

“Ditto, Stephan. Seriously, you think things through, you don't just dive in head first,” I pause for a second. “Well, besides your racing. You are kind of crazy in that aspect. But you're a very deep thinker. And I know that your sarcasm is just something to scare people away. You have been so hurt, and you are scared to let anybody else hurt you, yet, you still let me in.”

He shrugs. “I just learn from life, and take each day one