Jaded (Rock Star Trilogy) - By Mercy Amare Page 0,11

think about screaming, but then I realize that I've never had this much fun. It's a total adrenaline rush.

I glance down at Stephan's speedometer. He's currently going 80 MPH, drifting around a curve. I wonder just how fast he has drove this car.

The other guy is ahead of us, but as we go around the second curve, Stephan pulls ahead. We do a few more laps, and Stephan manages to stay ahead... barely. But we win, and I'm pretty sure I'm screaming.

“That was awesome!”

12:43 am

My friends don't like your music.

It's really late when we leave the racetrack, but I'm not tired. I feel exhilarated, and extremely hyper. It's then that I realize, I know this feeling... It's the feeling I get after every performance.

Stephan didn't let me drive his car, but I rode with him during every race. Stephan raced probably five times, and we got to watch about 20 other races. This is definitely my new favorite thing to do.

“Ok, seriously, that was so much fun,” I say, as we leave. “I can't wait to race.”

“That wasn't a race,” he chuckles. “I told you, babe, that was just practice. Wait until Friday night. That's when the real races are.”

I sigh dreamily, and lay back in the seat. “I like your friends.”

“Why is that?” he asks.

“Didn't you notice that not one of them knew me?” I smile. “I can be normal around them. It's pretty awesome.”

“My friends don't like your music,” he admits. “And it's not really you, you're an amazing singer and performer, but all that animated shit kind of takes away from your talent.”

I nod, knowing exactly what he means. “Well, that's part of the reason I wanted to take a break. Every album I record becomes less and less me. I hate what's expected of me. You know, my record company wouldn't even let me dye my hair?”

“I like the blonde,” he smiles. “But it does make you look like a Barbie.”

“I know, right?” I shake my head, thinking about how stupid my life has become. “Did you know that I can play the guitar, bass, and drums?”

“I knew about the guitar from some of your earlier work, but I didn't know about the others. That's impressive.”

“Thanks. Nobody knows because I don't play. They expect me to just sing. I mean, don't get me wrong, I love singing, but I want to play!”

“Will you play for me?” he asks. “I'd love to hear your music. Something I've never heard before. Scarlett unplugged.”

“Yeah. I want to play for you,” I agree. “Tomorrow, after school?”

“Sounds good to me.”

Wednesday, September 9

7:45 am

Goodbye, Barbie

Last night, I didn't get home from my date with Stephan until well after one in the morning. I'm used to late nights, but I'm not used to early mornings. And this morning, I hit the snooze button about 15 times too many. I look through my closet and grab a pair of skinny jeans, and a hoodie. I throw my hair up in a ponytail and skip the makeup. I'm too scared to look in the mirror because I know I look hideous.

I run out the door, and am surprised to see that Stephan is parked in my driveway. He's leaning up against his car with his hands in his pockets. The lack of sleep obviously doesn't effect him, cause he looks incredible.

“Stephan.” I'm a little breathless as I say his name.

“Scarlett,” he smiles. “Want a ride?”

I nod as I walk to his car. I slide into his passenger seat, and suddenly wish I would've taken the time to fix my makeup.

“You look good,” he says as we take off. “Less like Barbie.”

I look at him for a few seconds before responding, “I'm not sure if that is supposed to be a compliment or not.”

“Oh, it's a compliment.”

“I'm pretty sure today is the first day I've gone without makeup since I was 14 years old,” I admit to him. “If only my mom could see me now, she'd have a cow.”

“Where are your parents?” he asks.

“My dad is in Los Angeles. He's my manager and refuses to accept the fact that I'm taking a break,” I explain. “And my mother, well, I think she's at my house in Europe. Her and my father can't stand to be in the same country as each other.”

“So, why are you taking a break?”

Why is a very good question. One that I'm not exactly sure how to answer without being too personal.

“I am just reevaluating my life. I'm not sure that