He was silent for so long I began to fear he wasn’t going to answer. When he spoke, his words cut through me, sharp and sweet. “I think about you more than I should.”
It was suddenly very warm in the gallery. Little beads of sweat gathered at the hairline on the back of my neck. I needed air, because it seemed as if all the oxygen had been sucked out of the room.
Somehow, miraculously, I formed words. “What are you thinking now?”
I saw the answer I craved in the lines of his face and the stiff control of his body. I felt it in the way the air between us crackled and sparked. I even smelled it, that warm and musky scent of desire.
The reality of his answer surrounded and enticed me, and yet when he spoke, his words denied me. Denied us both.
“I’m thinking no,” he said, destroying me with nothing more than those three simple words. “And I’m thinking that I need to get back to my guests.”
four
I watched him go, numb from the knowledge that despite being so close I had failed so spectacularly.
I couldn’t even take any solace from the fact that when he denied me, he was denying himself, too. I wanted his touch, not just the knowledge that he wanted me.
Then take it.
The thought was so simple, so accurate and so compelling, that I actually took a step toward him. I’d seen the heat. Hell, I’d practically smelled the sulfur. If I pushed the issue, I knew damn well that I could force an explosion.
Determined, I aimed myself toward him. One step, then another. And then—with the crowd swirling around me and the voices meshing together like a discordant soundtrack—I simply stopped.
Did I want this?
I did, yes. Oh, god, I did. I wanted to feel Cole’s hands on my bare skin, his naked body hot against mine.
And yet . . .
And yet I couldn’t quite make myself go further. I could force an explosion, yes, but what then? If we burned together hot and hard, what would happen next?
Would we rise from the ashes like a phoenix?
Or would that fire simply destroy everything that already existed between us?
I’d told Sloane that I’d passed the point of no return—that I had to move forward even if that meant risking our friendship—and I’d meant the words when I’d said them. But now doubt and fear had crept into the equation.
I cared about this man, and in so many ways. Did I really crave him so much that I was willing to risk destroying everything else?
“Are you okay?”
I blinked, drawn from my thoughts by the woman’s voice. “Yeah,” I said. She was a tall brunette, and somewhat familiar. “Just distracted—and a little light-headed. Too much wine.”
“Cole and Tyler know how to throw a party. I’m Michelle. I think I’ve seen you once or twice at Destiny.”
“Oh, right.” I took the hand she offered and shook it. Destiny was the well-heeled gentleman’s club the knights owned. I didn’t go there often, but I’d been a couple of times with Angie for drinks while we’d waited for Evan, and Sloane had actually worked there for a while. She’d even confessed to me that she still performed occasionally. “Tyler likes it,” she’d said with the kind of smile that suggested that she liked it, too. And liked even more what happened after the dancing.
I tried to place Michelle, but couldn’t manage it. With her body, she could have easily been a dancer, but I didn’t think so. I had a vague memory of her at the bar. And, as the memory grew stronger, I started to see Cole there beside her.
“You’re Cole’s friend, right?”
Her eyes crinkled slightly at the corners. “Yeah,” she said, with an amused lilt to her voice. “We’re very good friends.”
“Well,” I said tightly, as green strands of jealousy started twisting in my gut, “it’s really great to see you here.”
She said a few more hollow words about the gala and I responded with equally hollow chitchat. Then she continued on her way. I waited a moment, then decided that those knots of jealousy confirmed that I needed to just get the hell out of there. I needed to think and to regroup.
And I needed to put distance between me and Cole.