It's A Wonderful Midlife Crisis (Good To The Last Death #1) - Robyn Peterman Page 0,59

attention. The giggling sounded like a cross between choking and puking, but I recognized the macabre noise clearly. The men were no better. All of them were speaking gibberish a mile a minute, trying to impress the man who could send them into the darkness.

And my dogs? Both had flopped to their backs at his feet and were receiving belly rubs.

I could strip naked and run around the room and not one specter would notice. I wouldn’t do that because I was fairly sure Gideon would notice, and I was not going to give him the wrong idea. Ever.

“Nice of you to join us, Daisy,” Gideon said, appearing slightly stressed out. “Can you tell your people to stand down?”

“You can see them?” I asked, wanting to make sure he wasn’t talking about the dogs.

“Yes. I’ve never seen quite so many together at the same time, but yes, I definitely see them,” he replied with a chuckle.

Well, he didn’t seem mad. Hopefully that meant he wasn’t going to send them to hell.

“You won’t hurt them?” I asked warily as I picked up the ice pack and shooed a few female ghosts away who tried to take it from me. Not that they could. Their hands went right through it. However, it was the action that counted, not the result. I was going to give him the damned ice pack. I was the one who broke his nose. It was the least I could do.

“What exactly do you think I do?” Gideon asked, raising a brow and leveling me with an intense stare.

“Umm… carry a scythe and wear a cheesy black-hooded robe,” I said, realizing how ridiculous I sounded as the words left my lips.

“Please, go on,” he said, amused.

I slowly lifted my middle finger to him. He grinned. The Grim Reaper had a sense of humor. Who knew?

“Okay, I will. You randomly ring people’s doorbells and then you kill them with your scythe—which is really horrible and mean—and take them to hell. I’m not sure I believe in hell, but that’s what you do.”

Gideon bit down on his stupidly kissable bottom lip and tried not to laugh. He failed. He failed in a big way. As he let go of a delighted bellow of laughter, all of the ghosts laughed along with him… or more likely they were laughing at me. I didn’t like that one bit. However, the stupid part of me was thrilled that I’d made the idiot laugh. So much for wisdom coming with age.

“You should stop watching so much TV,” Gideon said, wiping a tear from his eye.

“Are you denying that’s what you do?” I demanded, trying to regain the upper hand, or some kind of hand.

“Yes. I categorically deny everything you just said, Daisy.”

Maybe he was correct. I did watch a lot of scary movies.

“But you are the Grim Reaper?”

“I am.”

“Okay. Fine,” I snapped, tossing the ice bag at him and nailing him right in the crotch. “OH MY GOD. I am so sorry,” I gasped out as he jackknifed forward and hissed. “I did not mean to do that.”

“Of course you didn’t,” Gideon said with a wince. “No one in their right mind would rack a man who carries a scythe and wears a cheesy hooded black cape.”

“You said I was incorrect about that,” I said, feeling horrified that I’d broken his nose and then racked him with an ice pack.

“You are incorrect,” he replied. “Why don’t you stay over there and put your hands in your pockets for a few minutes?” he suggested as he placed the ice pack on his nose and put a throw pillow over his junk.

“I can do that,” I said in a mortified whisper. “Do you want another ice pack for your… umm…”

“My balls?” he inquired with a pained grin.

“Yes,” I said, feeling heat crawl up my neck and head for my cheeks.

“No. I’m too terrified to find out what other damage you can inflict,” Gideon said dryly. “Let’s just leave it at my nose and nuts right now.”

“Sounds like a plan,” I said weakly, shoving my hands into my pockets and moving farther away from him. This was not going well—especially for him.

“Can you do something about the ghosts?” Gideon inquired, squinting at me and indicating the shitshow happening all around him.

It was a hot mess now. The women were trying to ease the pain in his privates. The scene looked like a weird specter porn. I scrunched my nose and bit the inside of my cheek so