It's A Wonderful Midlife Crisis (Good To The Last Death #1) - Robyn Peterman Page 0,57

TV remote and hitting the guide button. “Dancing with the Stars or The Bachelorette. I like Dancing with the Stars better, but I plan to take a quick nap so the choice is yours. If you want to watch B celebrities doing the cha-cha, go by the fireplace. If you want to watch an idiot choose a fake husband, go by the front door.”

The TV habits of my dead squatters were serious business. I’d accidentally left the news on earlier and they went nuts—flew around like a tornado and squealed so loudly I thought I might have lost partial hearing in my right ear. I would not make that mistake again anytime soon. I’d get my news from NPR in my car from now on. Losing my aural skills wasn’t an option.

Just as I expected, they wanted The Bachelorette. They had no taste.

As I curled up under the afghan and started to fall asleep, a thought occurred to me. John hadn’t moved on yet. My guess was that he couldn’t until something had been done about his murder. John might be living with me for a long time. I hoped not, but the reality of getting Sarina put behind bars for life wasn’t a good bet. Even if I gave the proof to Heather, I wasn’t sure what she could do with it.

“Hey, John?” I asked, trying to keep my eyes open. “If we nail your wife, where would you like your money to go? Did you have anything in your will that goes beyond your wife getting your estate? You know, if you guys had died at the same time.”

“Naawwwooo,” he said.

“Well, if you had a choice, where would you want your estate to go?”

“Yooouah,” he said with a nod of satisfaction.

“Umm… nope,” I said, sitting up with a laugh. “And that’s not what I meant at all. I can’t and won’t take any money from you. I’m just putting it out there that if we can get a conviction on that piece of shit, where would you like your money to go?”

“Yooouah,” he repeated more firmly.

“Again. Nope,” I said with a tired grin. “Although that’s very nice, I can’t accept.”

Donna barked and Karen burped. I shook my head—and then it hit me. “How about the Humane Society?” I asked. “You love dogs. We could do it in honor of Karen.”

“Yausssss,” John said, pointing at Karen and smiling. “Yausssss.”

I wondered if his will had been done at our firm and if I could doctor it. Of course, the question I should be asking myself was how much time would I serve for getting caught doing that? The chances of Sarina getting what she deserved were sadly slim. However, just in case John disappeared, I wanted to know his wishes. I couldn’t necessarily make them happen. But if I didn’t know what he wanted I really couldn’t make it happen.

“I’m going to sleep for forty-five minutes,” I announced to the dead and my dogs. “I set my alarm. Do not let me sleep through it. Cool?”

Everyone seemed to be on the same page. Even though I had no intention of dressing up for Gideon, it would be nice to freshen up a little and slap on some war paint.

Because I was pretty sure I was going to war.

May the best crazy person win.

Chapter Fifteen

“Oh my God,” I screeched, cupping my stinging cheek with my hand. “Did you just smack me in the face?”

Gideon was crouched over me on my couch. His big hands gripped my shoulders in a painful hold. The idiot was shaking me like a rag doll. What the hell was wrong with him?

“Wake up, Daisy. NOW.”

“I am awake, asshole,” I shouted.

Rearing back and fisting my hand while remembering to keep my thumb on the outside, I threw a right hook that landed squarely in the center of his face. His nose made a terrible crunching noise and his eyes grew wide with surprised shock.

Oh. My. God. Those classes at the Y really did teach me something. I hadn’t been sure because I’d never used my skills for real until now. Adrenaline pumped through my body and my heart raced. I was at an emotional cross between being wildly proud of myself and being completely mortified.

“Did you just break my nose?” he asked, confused yet smiling.

“I’m so sorry,” I gasped out, slapping my hand over my mouth and cringing. “I didn’t mean to actually break anything. It’s just that I’m not real keen on getting smacked in the