It's My Life - Stacie Ramey Page 0,83

to work here. No outside distractions.” She types something into her computer. “No friends. No family. No boys.”

I blush hot as if she’s read my diary or something, even though I don’t keep one. Still, this woman is way too observant for my own good. Except I’m ready to let her help me. I’m ready to help myself.

* * *

Every day is the same. I get up. Go to breakfast. Eat. Go to therapy. Go to the schoolroom. Go to the library. Eat lunch. Go to physical therapy. Go to the schoolroom. Eat dinner. Repeat.

By the end of the first week, I get something unexpected. A letter from Julian.

I rip it open. A picture falls out. It’s of Julian, standing next to a sign that says Trail Magic.

Jenna,

Working hard at hockey camp so we took a day off to hike a portion of the Appalachian Trail and saw this. I’ve been thinking about you so much and this just felt like a sign or something (okay I KNOW it’s an actual sign but also as the other kind of sign, too). Do you still believe in magic? Because I do. I do.

Julian

It’s weird to get an actual letter. An email or text would have been quicker, but something about the permanence of the thing, the formality, and also the time it took to send it to me touches me and makes me hopeful.

I think about texting him that night. Like every night.

I’m not sure if I’m imagining it, but that night as I fall asleep I dream of him. And I can’t wait to get back to see him. Even if he’s over me. I hope he’s not over me. But even if he is, I want to see him. I want to show him that I’m coming back. The Jenna I used to be is returning. Slowly. But no text can show him that. Only I can. In person. In five days when I come home.

Thirty-Three

I return home to a huge party. Just family. Plus Ben.

Eric’s at school, but we Skype him. Uncle Steve, Aunt Betty, the little cousins, Rena, Mom, Dad, and me. Mom brings in food from an Italian restaurant I love. It means she doesn’t have to cook or do much clean up.

Mom looks relaxed and calm.

“I’m scared to see him,” I tell Ben.

He slings his arm around me. “It’s a good kind of scared though, huh?”

“Is that a thing?”

“You ready for reentry?” Ben asks.

“As I’ll ever be?”

Rena plops down next to me, a plate full of pasta. “It’s going to be amazing,” she says, framing my face with her hands. “Jenna Cohen, the sequel.”

“The merchandising on that is going to be huge,” Ben says.

Rena high fives him.

I simply sit and take it all in.

* * *

The next day Mom pulls up in front of the school. Rena is riding shotgun because she’s trying to talk Mom into letting her stay late all of this week to work on the sets with Rocco. Some things never change.

Thanks to Hospital Homebound at the rehab center and Mrs. Stein’s horrific work ethic, I’ve completed AP Psych and AP Lang semester one all in the span of a few weeks. Whew! Now I just have to play catch-up. Good thing I did some projects already on the sly.

Mom pulls up in our van. The door slides open. Rena rushes around to help me out. I’ve got a walking stick with me now and my crutches in a bag over my shoulder just in case. Rena walks next to me. I go in the normal entrance, not the shortcut one anymore.

Rena laughs. “Slow down, Jenna, it’s not a race.”

I adjust my stride, take normal-sized steps.

“Hey, Jenna, wait up,” Kate, one of the girls from the AP classes, calls from behind us. “I heard you’re back in class with us again. Cool.”

Another girl, Selene, jogs to catch up. “Yeah. We can give you the lay of the land. Swanson? Terrible teacher. Leads? Better. Don’t worry, you’ll catch up.”

Rena gives me her two-finger salute and is off with her friends.

Every single time I walk now, I feel the length of my gait. When we get to the courtyard I see a group of hockey players hanging around. I almost don’t want to look, but I can’t help it. I’ve been looking for that boy since kindergarten. But Julian is not there.

“You’ve got to get moving on your project for AP Psych. We’re doing one on psychology awareness month. Maybe we can add you on,” Kate says.

“She’s spoken for,” Ben says, showing up out of nowhere. “But thank you, anyway, Kate.”

And somehow, I’m right back in my stride, like the Jennifer I always wanted to be. That’s when I see Julian. His eyes do a slow crawl from the sidewalk in front of me and up until they land on my face.

“Hey,” he says.

Kate looks at Selene, who looks at me. “We’ll catch you inside.” Ben goes with them.

“So,” Julian says once we’re alone. “You’re back.”

“I am.”

“So…” he says. “You look like you’re moving great.”

“I’m doing pretty good,” I say. “How’s everything with…”

“Oh. The police? They dropped the charges.”

I smile. “That’s great.”

“This isn’t awkward at all,” he says.

I nod, searching for something to say. “I got your letter!” I blurt.

His turn to smile. “Yeah, it was so cool. I saw the sign, and it felt like a sign, and I’ve said all of this before…”

“Yeah. Very cool.”

“So,” he says again.

“So.”

The bell rings.

His eyes flit to the administrators trying to corral us toward our classes. “What does that mean? For us?” he asks.

“That depends.”

“On what?”

“On whether or not you ask me out.”

He looks at the ground. Then back up to me. That sexy but nervous grin on his face. “What are the odds you’ll say yes?”

I lift the sleeve off my wrist. Expose his Batman watch. “I’d say pretty good.”

Julian walks me to my new AP English class. “Mr. S. is going to miss you, you know.”

“Aw. Poor Mr. S. He the only one?”

“Well, that Tommy seemed really into you, so…”

“Tommy, huh. Okay. Well, give him a kiss for me then.”

“Not a chance.”

Then, right in the middle of the hallway, Julian leans down and kisses me. My stomach flutters, and the feelings are so much bigger than the ones from that fantasy goodbye when I was Jennifer and I was leaving on the train.

“Get in here, girl,” Ben calls from the classroom. “Saved you a seat.”

Julian and I pull away from each other, and I send Ben an embarrassed grin. “Be right there.”

Julian gives a little wave goodbye, and I stand there for another moment watching him leave, the feeling of his kiss still on my lips.

And for the first time, I realize my real life has far exceeded my fantasy one.