It's My Life - Stacie Ramey Page 0,74
are so busy arguing that the three of us don’t hear the door open. We don’t know Julian heard that last line until he says a very hoarse, “Is that what you think I was doing?” He’s carrying a stupidly enormous stuffed purple bear that holds a heart balloon. His lip is split but now mostly healed, but there’s still a glaring bruise around his eye and a cut above it. It’s hard to keep track of time here, but I know it’s been at least two days, maybe three. My phone is on the tray next to my bed. I glance at it and then back at him. I wish I was wearing normal clothes and didn’t smell like a hospital.
Ben grabs Rena’s arm. “We were just leaving.”
Julian nods at them as they depart. Then he sits down, wincing a tiny bit as he does. When Rena came to visit me yesterday, she told me that Julian got three bruised ribs in the fight. “Hey,” he says. “How are you feeling?”
“Okay.”
“You worried a lot of people.”
“I could say the same of you.”
His hand goes to the area above his eye where the stitches are still held together with the butterfly bandage. “Yeah. I guess.” He looks at my phone. “You never going to answer me?”
I lean back and cross my arms over my chest, feeling exposed. “I haven’t read them.”
“What?” His voice squeaks. “You never read my texts?” He shakes his head like he can’t believe what I’m saying, then cradles it in his hands. “Can you tell me why?”
“I just got a new phone. The other one was smashed.”
“So no other way to get your messages?”
I don’t answer.
He stares at the ground for the longest time. When he looks up at me, his eyes are bright red. Like he’s about to cry. I’m shocked to see that I have that much power over him. “Why?”
“I’m sorry,” I say.
“You couldn’t read the texts or didn’t want to?”
“Couldn’t. Not after what happened,” I say.
“I didn’t mean for it to get that bad.” He gestures toward my phone. “If you’d read the texts, I told you that.”
“I didn’t want you to fight him because of me. There was no need. Unless…”
“Unless what?” There’s an edge in his voice now that kind of kills me.
I don’t know what to say. Which is a weird situation for me to be in. “I can’t be with someone who is embarrassed to be with me.”
“Who ever said that? Why would you even think that?”
“Admit it,” I say. “It got to you when they said that about me. It embarrassed you.” Maybe Rena’s right, maybe Eric would’ve reacted the same way as Julian. But if there’s any chance this is true, I need to end things now, before they even start.
Julian shakes his head. “You’re wrong.”
“No. I’m not. He got you mad because you don’t want to admit that you’re embarrassed by me. So you decided to act like a big hero, but really you’re just a jerk.”
Julian winces. I can tell that my words have hit their mark. “So that’s it? You’re just going to give up on me? On any possibility of us?”
I close my eyes. “Why do you even like me?”
“Because you’re funny and smart and you’re beautiful.”
I open my eyes. “No, I’m not.”
“You are. You’ve got these gorgeous eyes. And your hair…” He motions with his hands. “Your smile is the thing that gets me, though. And how you look at me when you and I get the same joke and no one else does.” He stops. Takes a breath. “And I used to think you were nice.”
“Used to?” The words lodge in my stomach like a rock. I gaze down at my hands, unable to look at him anymore. My own tears are finally forming.
“I guess we’re done here.” Julian pushes himself out of his chair. The echo of the door closing tells me all I need to know. He’s gone. And he’s not coming back. Was I right then, if he would leave so easily? Was he embarrassed of me? Or did I just blow it all?
Rena and Ben file back in but they can see I’m not in the mood to talk, so Ben gets in bed with me and Rena puts on Into the Woods because we both love that one. Me and my stupid fairy tales. I start to cough, and Rena jumps up. “I’ll get you some more juice,” she says, heading back out of the