It's My Life - Stacie Ramey Page 0,39

to keep the salt water out. The sun was so warm on my face, and it made me safe feel. And so strong. I wanted to be free. Something made me want to let go of Dad. So I did.

It worked. I rose above the waves, Dad’s hand reaching for me, but my body moving, bobbing, floating—swimming on its own.

Rena danced through the water next to me. “You’re doing it!”

“Be careful with her, David!” Mom shrieked from the beach.

I used her fear that day, made it propel me forward. It made me try to balance on the water, prove to her that I could do this.

“She’s fine,” Rena yelled back. “She’s like a mermaid.”

I was like a mermaid, only with a little help from Dad, Eric, and Rena to stay afloat. My strong need to beat what was holding me back made me surge forward. I was trapped in this unwieldy body, but my props made me large.

In my room, here and now, I stare at the snow globe. Inside of it, encased in the glass sphere, is the picture that Mom took that day of me being a mermaid. I want that feeling back. The feeling of being fearless, knowing I have my family there to support me. We were always there for each other.

And I believed we always would be. I blow on the snow globe glass. It fogs. I wipe it clean. I breathe on the glass again. Let it fog over. Cover that scene.

The thing is, I don’t want to be trapped in a crystal dome.

My cell pings.

Come see me play tomorrow.

Everyone in the school will be there. It’s a big one.

I’ll even score a few for you.

As much as I’m enjoying being Julian’s virtual confidant, it’s just like that snow globe—fake. And that’s starting to not be enough anymore.

The game is the start of something called the Connecticut Cup, which happens every year at this time. It’s a big deal for the senior hockey players, since it’s their last hockey season. Hockey isn’t as popular as football in our school, but it’s my favorite sport. We celebrate the start of the Connecticut Cup with a week of dressing up, followed by the game, which is against Danbury High. We play them twice: once at the beginning of the season and once at the end. Whichever team wins the cup at the end of the season wears their hockey jerseys to the Hockey Homecoming Winter Formal, the dance commemorating the end of the Cup.

Eric was so proud to wear his, but Christina, the girl he took, was less than excited about the whole thing. Especially since Eric decided to “do it right” and wear his unwashed jersey, the one he’d worn on the ice to win the cup. Rena and I thought it was funny.

Eric’s coming into town tomorrow night in time for the first big game, which makes this all feel like it’s coming together for some weird reason. Like the universe is conspiring with me. Making magic.

I stare at all of the snow globes Mom made for me. There’s one for my preschool graduation. Me on my hippotherapy horse, Midnight, and one for every first day of school. Lots of me with Eric and Rena. Some of me and Ben.

If I close my eyes, I can almost see my perfect worldview where we could see into the mystical realm and enter the secret garden where every person would have their own Tree of Life. Millions of trees, all filled with these glass globes documenting the best moments of their lives. How beautiful would that be? I tap on one of the globes. It makes the most comforting sound.

Julian said he wanted me to come to his game. I close my eyes and try to picture one of these globes with a picture of me and Julian in it. Now that’s what I’d call magic.

Fourteen

Everyone acts like idiots in school this week. Truth be told, they like any excuse. But this year the hockey team has a hot prospect for the Ivy League, Daniel Beard, so the week leading up to the first game in the Connecticut Cup is bigger than ever. It’s kind of cool. We’ve got “dress up like your favorite sports mascot” day. “Dress up as a rowdy hockey fan” day. And today, game day, is “dress up as a character from Frozen” day, because, you know, why the hell not? My classmates defy the rules and wear hats and gloves and