Isn't It Bromantic (Bromance Book Club #4) - Lyssa Kay Adams Page 0,44
boobs they were discussing. “For the last time, there is absolutely nothing wrong with breast enhancement.”
“Oh, I heartily agree,” Colton said.
Elena snuck a glance at Vlad. He seemed as unfazed as he was unsurprised by their conversation. Apparently, Andrea’s boobs were a regular topic of conversation during morning coffee hours.
“I just, I’m still so gun-shy from Neil,” she said. She looked at the Elena and the guys. “That’s my ex-husband.”
“Ah,” Elena said.
“I mean, I care about Jeffrey. I do,” Andrea continued. “But what if he’s just another Neil? We were so perfect together for so many years, and then . . . it just fizzled.”
“Before or after he died?” Elena asked.
Vlad snorted and then coughed to again cover up his laugh.
“See, that’s your problem right there,” Claud said, pointing at Andrea. “You’re still waiting on your knight in shining armor who will make you all giddy and sparkly for the rest of your life. What you should be looking for is someone you’re still willing to have sex with after they make you look at pictures of their colonoscopy.”
Malcolm spit out his coffee.
“That’s what’s wrong with so many young people today,” Claud continued. “You think marriage is this grand romantic adventure that’s never going to end. That’s not what it is. It is a partnership. A legal agreement that makes it so damn annoying to get out of that you stick by each other even when you want to beat him with a giant zucchini—”
Elena opened her mouth, but Linda waved her off. “Don’t ask.”
“—because it’s just too much of a pain in the ass to break up.”
Noah pounded his chest to clear the last of his choking fit. “Well, I’m excited to get married.”
“You shouldn’t be excited to get married. You should be ready to get married. There’s a huge difference. Most people are excited for a wedding but never think about what happens after that or what marriage really means.” Claud leaned forward. “You know what my mother told me on my wedding day?”
“Double, double toil and trouble?” Elena said.
Vlad grunted another laugh.
“She said, ‘Claudia, I know you are so happy right now that it’s hard to imagine things will ever be bad. But there will come a day when you’ll be sitting across from him as he is eating his breakfast, and all you will think is why? And then you’ll get over it, and things will go back to normal.’ That is marriage. Security and stability with the occasional what the hell was I thinking?”
Elena turned a pointed gaze at Vlad and whispered, “ ‘Thus heaven’s gift to us is this . . .’ ”
His chuckle came out a surprised puff of air before he finished the couplet. “ ‘That habit takes the place of bliss.’ ”
“Your mama was right. There is a Pushkin quote for everything.”
“Who is Pushkin?” Colton asked.
Vlad shook his head and wiped his mouth. “We are with heathens, Elena.”
Elena sighed dramatically and plunked her elbow on the counter. “Now you’ve done it.”
Vlad leaned back in his chair, still shaking his head. “Alexander Pushkin is only Russia’s most famous and important poet in all of history.”
Elena adopted a theater whisper. “His mama is a literature professor at the university in Omsk and teaches a course on Pushkin.”
“Who is Pushkin?” Vlad muttered again. “He is to Russia what Shakespeare is to Britain.”
“Between the two of us, we’ve probably memorized every one of his poems. His mama used to make us sit for hours and analyze every word, every translation.” Elena adopted a matronly tone of voice. “ ‘Literature is life, and Pushkin is its beating heart.’ ”
Vlad grinned, a wide, toothy thing that showed off the tiny gap between his two front incisors. “You sounded exactly like her.”
“Damn, boys,” Mack said. “Been a long time since we’ve seen the Russian smile like that, huh?”
“Indeed,” Malcolm said, nodding with an almost Zen-like quality. “Indeed.”
The guys did that talking-with-their-eyes thing again.
“Well,” Linda suddenly said. “We’ve invaded your space long enough this morning. We should get going.”
Claud scowled. “I’m not ready.”
Linda grabbed her mother’s arm. “Yes, you are.”
“Breakfast was incredible,” Andrea said. “Can we help clean up?”
“No,” Elena said, waving her hand at the mess. “I’ll take care of it.”
“Before you go,” Colton said. “We have an idea that perhaps you ladies would like to help us with?”
Vlad’s eyebrows tugged together, as if he didn’t quite trust whatever was going to come out of his friend’s mouth.
“Since Vlad can’t be with his team during the Stanley Cup championship—”