WomanCare seemed to be everywhere in his life. Ed would undoubtedly have seen sinister implications in this.
"That Gretchen Tillbury is one hard sugarbun," Helen was saying, "Just before she left she told me it was all right for me to love Ed'It has to be all right," she said, 'because love doesn't come out of a faucet you can turn on and off whenever you want to'-but that I had to remember my love couldn't fix him, that not even Ed's love for Natalie could fix him, and that no amount of love changed my responsibility to take care of my child.
I've been lying in bed, thinking about that. I think I liked lying in bed and being mad better. It was certainly easier."
"Yes," he said, "I can see how it might be. Helen, why don't you just take your pill and let it all go for awhile?"
"I will, but first I wanted to say thanks."
"You know you don't have to do that."
"I don't think I know any such thing," she said, and Ralph was glad to hear the flash of emotion in her voice. It meant the essential Helen Deepneau was still there. "I haven't quit being mad at you, Ralph, but I'm glad you didn't listen when I told you not to call the police. It's just that I was afraid, you know? Afraid."
"Helen, I-" His voice was thick, close to cracking. He cleared his throat and tried again. "I just didn't want to see you hurt any more than you already were. When I saw you coming across the parking lot with blood all over your face, I was so afraid..."
"Don't talk about that part. Please. I'll cry if you do, and I can't stand to cry anymore."
"Okay." He had a thousand questions about Ed, but this was clearly not the time to ask them. "Can I come see you tomorrow?"
There was a short hesitation and then Helen said, "I don't think so. Not for a little while. I have a lot of thinking to do, a lot of things to sort out, and it's going to be hard. I'll be in touch, Ralph.
Okay?"
"Of course. That's fine. What are you doing about the house?"
"Candy's husband is going to go over and lock it up. I gave him my keys. Gretchen Tillbury said that Ed isn't supposed to go back for anything, not even his checkbook or a change of undemear. If there's stuff he needs, he gives a list and his housekey to a policeman, and the policeman goes to get it. I suppose he'll go to Fresh Harbor.
There's plenty of housing there for lab employees. These little cottages. They're actually sort of cute The brief flash of fire he'd heard in her voce was long gone. Helen now sounded depressed, forlorn, and very, very tired.
"Helen, I'm delighted that you called. And relieved, I won't kid you ah(put that. Now get some sleep."
"What about you, Ralph?" she asked unexpectedly. "Are you getting any sleep these days?"
The switch in focus startled him into an honesty he might not otherwise have managed. "Some... but maybe not as much as I need.
Probably not as much as I need."
"Well, take care of yourself. You were very brave today, like a knight in a story about King Arthur, but I think even Sir Lancelot had to fall out every now and then."
He was touched by this, and also amused. A momentary picture, very vi 'd, arose in his mind: Ralph Roberts dressed in armor and vi mounted on a snow-white steed while Bill McGovern, his faithful squire, rode behind him on his pony, dressed. in a leather jerkin and his snappy Panama hat.
"Thank you, dear," he said. "I think that's the sweetest thing anyone's said to me since Lyndon Johnson was President. Have the best night you can, okay?"
"Okay. You too She hung up. Ralph stood looking at the phone thoughtfully for a moment or two, then put it back in its cradle.
Perhaps he Would have a good night. After everything that had happened today, he certainly deserved one. For the time being e thought he might go downstairs, sit on the porch, watch the sun go down, and let later take care of itself.
McGovern was back, slouched in his favorite chair on the porch.
He was looking at something up the street and didn't immediately turn when his upstairs neighbor stepped outside. Ralph followed his gaze and saw a blue step-van parked at the curb half a block up Harris Avenue, on